This just in from a friend of mine who lives in West Palm Beach...funny stuff, yet serious. >I've got some relatives in Palm Beach who are steaming mad. The >maternal parents >of my mother in law live in Palm Beach and think they inadvertantly voted for >Buchannan. The Change in lead from the recount is due to the "missing ballot >boxes". I hope they find some more of those. > > >Column: To mess up is natural, so revote right in line >By Frank Cerabino, Palm Beach Post Staff Writer >Thursday, November 9, 2000 >We need a do-over. >Excuse me, America. Sorry we have to meet like this. We here in Palm Beach >County were hoping to take the national stage under better >circumstances. But we >have a problem that needs your attention. >Even if it makes us look, um, silly. >You see . . . we'd like to vote again for the president. >I know. I know. This is highly unusual. >We understand the idea is everybody gets one crack at it. >But we screwed up on Tuesday. And this, being the land of golf, >entitles us to a >mulligan. >Lost on the election road map >Here's why. We were confused. >We often are. We sometimes park cars in swimming pools and get lost >on the roads >despite signs with letters big enough to read from the Space Shuttle. >So it's no wonder that some of the condo vote ended up going to Pat Buchanan. >We were trying to vote for Al Gore. And I know we should have just >followed the >arrow that led from Gore's name on the ballot to the hole we had to punch. >But we got lost on the way. It happens. We were moving our hand >across the page, >and we wandered, punching No. 4 on the ballot instead of No. 5. >It's a lot like that mistake between the brake and the gas pedals. >The No. 4 is like the gas, and the No. 5 is like the brake. >We were trying to hit the brake, and we hit the gas. >And this time, instead of crashing the strip shopping center, we crashed the >election for the president of the United States. >Oops. Sorry. >Let's back up and try again. >Buchanan votes could be key >Not only is the election of the next president on the line. With >George W. Bush >and Gore separated by 1,784 votes across the state, changing most of the >county's 3,407 votes for Buchanan could determine the winner of the election. >But nearly as important, it's embarrassing to us. >We don't want to have anything to do with Buchanan, who couldn't get >hundreds of >condo votes even if he showed up on Election Day with a >tractor-trailer full of >free corned beef sandwiches. >I know what you're thinking: If the layout of the ballot caused some >Gore voters >to choose Buchanan by mistake, maybe it also caused Buchanan voters to choose >Gore in error. >Wrong. You don't hear Buchanan people complaining. That's because they didn't >have trouble voting for their guy. All those Buchanan people have great aim. I >think it has something to do with the guns. >They were punching bull's-eyes. And we were voting for a guy with a soft spot >for Hitler. >Let's talk consideration >This can't happen. So here's the deal. >Hold a retake of the election in Palm Beach County, in which only >the people who >voted Tuesday will be eligible to vote again. >Make it in a couple of weeks. >That will give the candidates and their campaigns time to come here >and promise >us a whole new bunch of things they won't be able to deliver. >Maybe Palm Beach County seniors can negotiate their own prescription plan with >the Democrats. The Republicans could cough up Wayne Newton for a >free concert at >the Kravis. >Either party is more than welcome to pay for the bullet train. >So, come on down. >We've got lots of things we'd like you to do for us. Boca Raton >needs a new high >school. Palm Tran needs covered shelters. And how about a tax break on bingo >earnings? >We'll tell the gate guard to let you in. Bring lots of sandwiches. >And this time when we vote, we promise to pay more attention. >frank_cerabino@pbpost.com > >
