+1 As my oldest gets older, I find that making time to be with your kids is precious, and I have some guilt from my younger days of being a father and missing out on opportunities. I have been spending more time with the kids where a few years ago I would just play games, sports, etc. It's all just a waste of time compared to spending time with your kids. I consider myself lucky in that I have a 15yo, 6yo, and a 3yo, so I can use these lessons I've learned from being a father for 15 years with the younger ones. I've had to feel my way through this fatherhood thing because my mother left my father when I was 1 and he just let it go and made no attempt to keep in contact with me. I had a stepfather but he was more of an authority figure than a father. My mother was also a piece of work, so I've just had to just stick to our (my wife and my) number one rule of 'don't **** them up'. I'd love to have more kids but I'm pushing 50 and my wife said she would leave me if we had another. We've considered adopting though. I love kids.
Yeah I get the older father deal. I grew up seeing my Dad every other weekend, if at all. My Mom was the father and the mother, hard as hell. Raised 5 kids, we grew up super poor but she did her absolute best. We never went hungry anyway. I told myself I would be successful before I had children, my wife is 8 years younger than me so we had time. I have one kiddo and I turned 37 the day before he was born. We want more but I don’t want too many past the age of 40. I have a great partner, a therapist who actually teaches parent training. So she teaches me a lot about parenting.
I had my first son in September. I turned 44 after he was born. Hopefully I can stay in good enough shape to keep up. He has been in the NICU for the past 2 weeks but it looks like we will get to take him home soon. His big sister can't wait to meet him.
I'm really thinking about this a lot lately. Me and my ex are pretty much back together, she says she hasn't been with anyone since we split and she's cool with me having been with other women but she put her foot down on the sexual exclusivity during the lockdown so yeah we're back together lol. We never told my parents about the split so when we went to visit them a couple of weeks ago they were aggressively suggesting we should have another baby lol. I was like "Dad, baby girl is three years away from college and you want me to start over"? and he said "Yes". Yesterday my wife, (I guess I can call her my wife again cause we'll probably visit the courthouse before the year is out lol) asked me if I still have the list of baby names we made when she was pregnant with my son. I don't but it looks like we may be on the same page. We both agree we like having one of each, one girl and one boy but having another boy would be cool because my our son grows so fast the new kid would already have a full wardrobe lol. It's been a crazy last two years, I never thought I'd ever want another kid especially with her but what a difference a quarantine makes lol
It's a lot of ****ing work at first, you'll realize you forgot how much when that baby is crying at 3am. But it's totally worth it. You're also way more mellow the second time around. Kid wants to lick the wall outlet after you've said no a few times? Ok. That's a lesson. I would have 10 kids if I could.
So when y'all are done with the baby-making, how are y'all proceeding with the sexy time? Pull out, vasectomy, condoms, wife on birth control? How is this usually handled? We just had our 3rd and final so this just now dawned on me.
Having kids in your 30s is the way to go nowadays. I don't know if there are young men on the site reading this, but if there are, wait until your 30s to have kids. By then, you should have a way or ways to make good money, have 5 figures in the bank, and your own home. Also, have kids with a woman in her mid 20s, not around your age and especially not older. Don't ask why, you'll know when you know.
NuvaRing, she had a ten year ring put in six years ago. If we go for baby number three she'd have to have it removed and then put back after birth until menopause I guess. She tried birth control pills for a couple months after she had our daughter but they turned her into a raging b**** and killed her sex drive. Then we went straight pull and pray for a good long while and that worked with some plan b sprinkled in there until we were ready for number two.
We did nothing after our second, which we did IVF with because we tried for seven years after the first one. So we thought nothing was happening. Hung out, got into shape...then boom, surprise number three. A month after three was born I got a vasectomy. Easy ****. The worst part was the needle in each side. More of a surprise pinch than anything else. The funny thing was after it was done, the doc and nurse said they would give me some privacy. I laughed and said why bother? You've seen more of my junk than my wife ever has. We'll probably get pregnant again, and name her Jesus.
I'm about 5 - 6 weeks away from my first born (daughter) being born. I'm pretty damn excited. I told my wife that baby girl is going to start with a fresh new group of Rockets basketball players. Crossing my fingers that in about 6-7 years she will be celebrating with me as we watch Jalen Green and KPJ host up that championship trophy. Dreams. Great thread, will watch video at home tonight.
Randomness in response to some posts. My 10 month old (as of today) daughter pulled up for the first time today. My son is three, pushing four. He was difficult. Still kind of is, but he'd awesome. My wife initially didn't want any more. She initially didn't want any. I talked her into the first. Then I talked her into the second, my daughter. My daughter has been so easy. My wife got her tubes tied during her c section for my daughter. Within two weeks of having my daughter, she was crying because she was realizing she couldn't have any more (mostly hormones). Fast forward 10 months, and she was going goo goo over someone else's baby, and I asked if she would have another if she could. I said three is the most I'd ever want. She told me to stop talking about it because it would make her sad. It's crazy how motherhood has changed her views on kids. It's also crazy because I knew it would. And as a response to the person saying to wait til your 30's, do it. Well, I was 30 with my first. We were married for 7 years before we had our first. My advice is to also wait. You'll know when it's time, imo. Travel the world, buy a house, actually settle down. You'll enjoy it more.
Got snipped at 40 (2 sons). Was no big deal and totally worth it. Those of you having them well in to your 40's...good luck. My friend is 41. He has a 20 yr old son in the Coast Guard, a 4-yr old daughter with his current wife and she's pregnant with twins. I can't begin to imagine having to deal with all of that now. Big reason why I got snipped at 40. My now ex was sniffing around to have a 3rd and I wanted nothing to do with it. I was done with diapers and no sleep and no having to pay for day care. Now, I'm not far from getting re-married and will have a 9-yr old step daughter. That's something I'm not prepared for...having a teenage daughter.
