I'll try to be brief so I don't bore everybody. I have been with my current Gf for five months now and it has pretty much been great except for the every once in a while argument ( nothing heated). Well over the last month me being the dumb@$$ that I am, I have gone to see my ex-gf without telling my new one. Well I stayed over at my ex's place once and absolutely nothing happened although I did stay in the same bed with her ( Yeah the story got worse!). I don't even know why I went over to her house in the first place especially since I feel nothing for her anymore. Well my current Gf found out, I don't know how but does that even matter? I have never felt this way about a person but I run off and do this. I feel ashamed and I have never wanted to be in somebody else's shoes as much as I do now. I can't even look at my gf and I don't even know what I can say. I feel selfish that Im the one moping around not knowing what to say when she is the one that is hurt by this. I absolutely 100% percent didn't touch my ex-gf and feel nothing for her but I am so horribly in the wrong. Any advice would help, I don't even know where to start. I've never felt this down and all I want is to not only reconcile everything with my current gf but show her that I can be trustworthy ( that'll be a long road, if she even wants this anymore). Thanks again.
you're ****ed. I would just come clean with her. Tell her yes, you did go to your ex-gfs house. Even tell her that you ****ed her becaus your gf wont believe otherwise and she'll think you are a liar and never ever get together with you. So say you had sex with the girl, but tell her that it was the biggest mistake that you have ever made in your life and that you love her, want to spend the rest of your life with her blah blah blah and then pray, because it probably wont work.
I already "came clean" and yeah your right about two things: 1. I'm screwed 2. she doesn't believe me that nothing went on
If she's not going to take your word, then she's not the one. Don't sweat it, just try not to pull any stunts like that again. Better luck next time.
This is my thing and relationships, I'll allow one do-over if they mess up again then that's it. I cannot speak for your girl however, you did mess up and staying with another girl, secretly is bad enough but the fact that it is an ex makes it worse. As said before come clean, state your position, tell her EVERYTHING that happened and be honest, it's the best you can do. Whether she takes you back or not is completely up to her. Sorry.
is it coming clean if you got busted first? The only advice anyone can really give you is take your lumps on this one and hope for the best.
and don't be surprised when she screws her ex, because no matter what you say she's going to think you slept with yours.
At this point, before you do anything else, you might as well go back to your ex's apartment and seal the deal. Hell, you're paying the price for it anyway.
Explain everything. Tell her you understand why she wouldn't believe that nothing went on. Then tell her that even without that what you did was wrong. You understand that it was wrong and you won't do it again. Tell your gf that since you did something wrong, you will understand and respect whatever decision she makes as to you guys having or not having a future together. Tell her that since you messed up, you will be man enough to accept whatever consequences come of that. She might respect you enough, and believe you enough that she won't dump you. She might also be able to regain your trust since it doesn't seem like you are trying to be slick and get away with anything. Though if she does decide it is over, then you have committed yourself to accepting it. Let her know that you would be very upset if she did that, but you have accept the consequences of your stupid action.
Would you believe her if the roles were reversed? My guess is probably not. Even if you don't want to admit it, there is some reason that you ended up at your ex's place. And for the life of me, I cannot comprehend how you would expect your current gf to understand that you spent the night in the same bed as your ex. Even if nothing happened, there is still something seriously wrong with that picture.
Get back with the ex because you probably have more of a future with her than you do with the other one.
Explain everytihng, but you said you already did. like RR said DO NOT SEND YOUR EX TO EXPLAIN. if i were you i would not see my ex again in a very long time. And just try to be as sweet ass you can for your current Girlfriend. Just try to show her that you do like her alot. and that you do not feel anything for anybody else. If i were you i would not even mention your ex ever again. If you have mails or sms from he delete them. Your girlfriend is now very insecure. you have to fix that. do not lie to fix this about the not believing your word, i do not think that is a sign that she is not the one. if you slept in the same bed with your ex i can understand you GF that she doesn't believe you. Does your GF still talk to you? do you still hang out? if she isn't talking to you there are two things you can do. 1 Send her a mail that you really like her, but that you understand she wants time to think so you will leave her alone for 1 week., and then leave her alone for a week. 2 what i would probably do is just mail her every day to say how much you are sorry. and ask if there is anything you can do to make it up. basically BEG. option 1 is if you like her but you were not sure if she is the one, option 2 is if you are crazy about her. Also i think you should think why you went to your ex. Did you have a fight with your GF? are you not happy with her? because still being in touch with an ex is ok(i still talk to my ex on occasion) but sleeping in the same bed is very strange. think about why you did that. good luck
She has said that I am the "one" for her and she knows that. She doesn't even want to break up, she wants an explanation but knows that there is nothing that I can really say to make her feel better. Trust has obviously been dissolved and I guess time will tell if it is ever regained. All she has really said is "whats done is done..." and I can expect alot of negative backlash for an undetermined amount of time.
That's what Tara said. I agree with it. Also, your ex is your ex. If there is no need to be in contact with her, stay away from her.
It's just not believable that someone could go over to their ex's place for the night, without telling their current gf, and spend the night in that ex's bed, without anything happening, and without that person feeling anything for the ex. The story doesn't add up, and I'm guessing there's no possible way the current gf is going to believe it, unless she's incredibly naive.
Guilt - what a crappy emotion. Not much you can do except try and start fresh and win her trust back. Time heals all....well, mostly all
You could take the Kobe approach and buy her a really expensive bracelet or pair of earrings. Why is everyone so dead set against having the ex explain things? Unless she's crazy (is she?) then that might be a good way to go about it.
