JW makes me laugh. On Some Sad Laps, No Heads Bob Posted by James Wolcott This morning on Air America, Jerry Springer ran the tape of Rush Limbaugh's bizarre outburst against Al Gore's upcoming cable news venture for "yoof" (as they say in British papers), mocking its mission to represent the viewpoints of young people by claiming that the only thing kids cared about today was blowjobs, which were rampant in the nation's high schools today thanks to Al's good friend Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. Maybe it should be called "The BJ Network," Rush railed, since blowjobs were now the only thing occupying the empty minds of MTV audiences--all those teenage Monicas out there hooking up with teenage Bubbas. Limbaugh seemed to be implying at the top of his voice that blowjobs are an integral part of the liberal agenda, an argument which he may want to rethink. The popularity of blowjobs is difficult to metric but undeniable; they cause little harm and zero unwanted pregnancies. If the plentitude of blowjobs is part of the Clinton legacy, millions owe the former president a debt of gratitude and an annual pilgrimage to the Clinton Memorial Library in Arkansas. Yet, like so many products and pleasures, blowjobs aren't evenly distributed in society. It's a renewable natural resource not everyone gets to enjoy, and I was struck by the vehement tone of Limbaugh's tirade. He sounded bitter. I've seen this rancor inflict so many middle-aged men. Reading about all the oral sex young people are presumably having, they feel envious and resentful. No classmates were treating them to afterschool blowjobs in high school! Nor were hot teachers like that one in Florida seducing them in parked cars. It doesn't seem fair. It doesn't seem just. We're living in the Golden Age of BJs, and men in Rush's recumbent position feel barred from Eden, forced to imagine the action from their recliners as they stare sullenly at their plasma screens. It's probably how many adults felt during the free-love Sixties as the lid came off the nation's libido. Clearly no small part of the undying enmity conservatives like Rush (and many liberal men too) have for Bill Clinton was that he was their age (maybe even older) and yet was able to participate in the exciting blowjob youth movement courtesy of Monica Lewinsky's bright red mouth. How this made them seethe, and the fact they still mention it at the slightest farfetched opportunity shows that they seethe still. At the time, Hillary-haters sneered that if she had been performing her wifely duties and been less of a frozen popsicle, Bill may not have so easily strayed, red lips or no red lips. Liberal women didn't know how to satisfy a husband's needs, being so wrapped in their selfish careers. I find such speculative intrusion undignified. I do. And yet, applying the logic of the Hillary-haters, I can't help but wonder if Rush's jealous ire over other people's blowjobs reflects poorly on his current relationship with CNN's Daryn Kagan, rumored to be on the fast track to have the honor of being his fourth wife. He sounded frustrated, disgruntled, and perhaps the anchorwoman isn't applying herself as much as she could or should to the task of keeping her big man happy. It will require fortitude on her part, but it is no more than other women have borne. Perhaps this particular act disgusts her, or she's unsure of her technique, despite being in the television business, where everyone assumes everyone is so worldly. If the latter is the case and insecurity is the issue, there's a very helpful show-and-tell scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High where Phoebe Cates uses a banana to educate a classmate on how it's nutritiously done. I would note that Fast Times at Ridgemont High was released in 1982, predating the Clinton administration by a decade, thus undercutting Rush's already dubious thesis. 04.15.05 11:18AM http://jameswolcott.com/archives/2005/04/on_some_sad_lap.php
damn, i was too young for free love in the '60s, and now i discover i'm too old for Gen-BJ. I feel so cheated!
I was lucky enough to catch the begining of the BJ swell going through highschool in the '80s and ride that wave all they way to today. My older brothers are very jealous.
that was funny. as far as rush goes, for questions of ethical and moral advice, perhaps we should turn to someone other than a recovering drug addict with 3 failed marriages.
i grew up in the first post-feminist generation, or what those of us who married seven sisters alums would call gen-cl.
Rush could have easily gotten himself sucked off as much as he wanted. He's a popular guy and has a nice pile of cash. Trouble is, nobody can get a blowjob when you're crosseyed, comatose, and foaming at the mouth from too much Oxycontin. Chicks just don't dig that.
Interesting that Rush's tirade more or less coincides with Dan Savage's tirade this week. Savage (in his column, Savage Love) rails about the double-standard of people following the Pope's morality. While the Vatican's stance on gays is well known and publicized, everyone likes to ignore that the Vatican is also against blowjobs. Oh no, not just gay blowjobs. All of 'em are fit for hellfire.
DAD: There are Jews in the world. There are Buddhists. There are Hindus and Mormons, and then There are those that follow Mohammed, but I've never been one of them. I'm a Roman Catholic, And have been since before I was born, And the one thing they say about Catholics is: They'll take you as soon as you're warm. You don't have to be a six-footer. You don't have to have a great brain. You don't have to have any clothes on. You're A Catholic the moment Dad came, Because Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. CHILDREN: Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. GIRL: Let the heathen spill theirs On the dusty ground. God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found. CHILDREN: Every sperm is wanted. Every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood. MUM: Hindu, Taoist, Mormon, Spill theirs just anywhere, But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care. MEN: Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. WOMEN: If a sperm is wasted,... CHILDREN: ...God get quite irate. PRIEST: Every sperm is sacred. BRIDE and GROOM: Every sperm is good. NANNIES: Every sperm is needed... CARDINALS: ...In your neighbourhood! CHILDREN: Every sperm is useful. Every sperm is fine. FUNERAL CORTEGE: God needs everybody's. MOURNER #1: Mine! MOURNER #2: And mine! CORPSE: And mine! NUN: Let the Pagan spill theirs O'er mountain, hill, and plain. HOLY STATUES: God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain. EVERYONE: Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood. Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite iraaaaaate!
i didn't realize that. i'm a freak about abortion, as you all know..but that's because it's a sperm/egg fusion. i'm not sure i can go any earlier than that and still contend i'm protecting a life.
It gets even more tricky for the Vatican now. While the Church enjoys great membership growth in Africa, it also tells an AIDS-plagued continent that using condoms is sinful. No abortion? I understand the sentiments and the debate. No blowjobs? Huh? No condoms? Borders on an evil concept in the modern world. Personally, I can't wait to see who next pilots the Pope-mobile!
I thought it was a carrot that Phoebe was using... (no I have not watched that movie a million times or anything)
I don't intend to disparage Mr. Limbaugh, as he does a good enough job of it on his own, but anybody taking Oxycontin at the doses he was taking would have their libido completely suppressed, and even if it weren’t would be additionally rendered physically incapable of achieving an erection. Again, nothing particularly malicious against Rush in this case, that’s just the reality of the drug he was abusing.
It actually makes sence when you follow through the logic behind the church's position. It it the stated position of the Catholic Church that any action that is in any way sexual that is done for the sake of pure physical pleasure instead of the spiritual pleasure of procreating is a corruption of God's will. That's how you can find masturbation, oral sex, and homosexuality to all fit under the same umbrella. It's really more of a philosophical argument on physical pleasure as a impediment to spiritual enlightenment, as opposed to an argument about the degree to which sperm qualifies as independent life. That's why the same holds true for people that are sterile, etc. I'm still not sure if you are allowed to enjoy the physical pleasure while you procreate, or whether you are supposed to pretend that it doesn't feel good, but that's a different subject. The idea is born from the same mindset that brought you the medieval concept of chivalric love, which has always struck me as a unbalanced compromise between guilt and desire. There is ample phenomenological evidence for such a belief, but then again you could say the evidence comes from the same school of thought which brought you the last century of social upheaval and in that light might be bunk.
I recall hearing that many of the Cardinals are also epicures so I guess that doesn't extend to eating.
I think it's a demonstration of the classical Freudian mechanism of denial at work. There's nothing taboo about enjoying food, so there's never a need to acknowlegde an internal conflict. If you are a pope or cardinal, however, and you are confronted with constant desires to bed every woman you see, but at the same time believe that you have the conflicting intelectual belief that sex outside mariage is bad, then you come up with a somewhat severe solution like "sexual pleasure is bad". In otherwords, there's no internal conflict about food, and there's nothing "bad" about eating everyting in sight, so you don't get a bizare solution.
Interesting point, Ottomaton, I probably would have never seen it that way. I simply would have thought that under the views of the Catholic Church, food must be consumed to maintain a body capable of reproducing. Therefore one can and should eat. And one could possibly enjoy it, but probably not too much because then there's the possibility of enjoying food TOO much, which would be bad in their eyes.
