Good question. (One that I've thought of myself.) If you've tried other things and they've failed, then at some point you might have to let them know that you love them and that you'll be there for them when they're ready to turn their life around, but that you can't sit by and watch them self destruct or potentially hurt others. I say "might" because every situation is different... and some might not react well to that sort of talk... Spoiler And I just don't know. I'm a firm believer in that some people need to hit rock bottom, but everyone is different. It's tough. I wish I had answers. I wish you well though. Maybe reach out to AL-ANON???
I completely understand asking that question. From my own personal experiences of struggle and witnessing the struggles of those close to me. The one sentiment consistently expressed by those who have managed to overcome challenges such as drug addiction, alcoholism, pill dependency, or even repeated poor decision-making resulting in legal issues, is their immense gratitude for not being written off. People struggling with addiction or other issues may have faced numerous setbacks and may have disappointed those around them repeatedly. However, it is important to remember that change is a difficult process, often filled with relapses and setbacks. By displaying empathy, understanding, and unwavering support, we create an environment where individuals feel safe to seek help, throughout the path to recovery and rebuild their lives. Just because someone doesn't appear to want to change their addictive behavior, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are content with their situation or have no desire for a different life. Addiction is a complex and multifaceted issue, often rooted in deep emotional pain, trauma, or other underlying factors.
Drugs and spiraling addiction are issues that easily break trust. I would seek something like famanon to get advice on how to deal with the family member. Some folks will lie, cheat, and steal to get their fix. Others genuinely are crying for help or are so weak that they don't know they're pulling emotional strings for enabling behavior. So you're better off seeking advice from groups that deal with addicts that can give you a better perspective. Interventions sound nice, but if handled poorly or not followed through, then it usually backfires and the addict feels more betrayed without feeling a need to change. Narcissists are a pain in the ass in of itself even without an addiction...
Your responsibility is to family first, and even at the far extreme of the spectrum. There are a lot of redemption stories. That won't make it easy, but think if you bring someone into the world that's your burden and your responsibility. If that law comes in direct conflict with itself, like Nook said, and by that I mean life or death of your own blood as a direct consequence of the interaction, then you have to make a decision to isolate. What will artificial intelligence do? That's the next question. Bad robot.
For me, it depends! If you're talking about YOUR offspring or Parents....NEVER!! If you're talking about your siblings/cousins/extended family, then there is no carte blanche in my opinion! Through thick and thin you have a responsibilty to be there for your kids an parents, everyone else sits in the back seat. ....... ....... .......
This, pure and simple. You go from being in a family to having a family when you have kids. Relationships should be symbiotic, not parasitic. Get that toxic **** out of your life, bro. Any energy you put into a toxic relationship is energy you don't get back and energy you don't put into the positive things in your life that do give back. 'I love you, but I can't have this **** in my family's life. If you decide to clean up your act, I'll be the first person there to give you a hand.'
Hard question. I don't think I could ever cut family off cold turkey. Will always love them and be there for them if they need me, but there's limits. Like, I probably won't bail you out of jail more than once. Or even once, if someone else has already bailed you out for similar instances multiple times. I wouldn't invite you over to be around my kids if all you do is cuss and talk about drugs and alcohol. But if they wanted to hang out personally and just have some discussions, I'll be there. I won't let someone hurt me financially. I'll help out, but if it gets to the point of "giving a drunk a drink", I'll draw that line too. Just have to be nice without being a pushover.
My younger brother, after 20 years of being on crack and in and out of prison and rehab, after stealing from me on multiple occasions and then stealing from my parents (I lost track on how many times) who enabled the hell out of him, I cut him off. My parents still talk to him although they have boundaries although I think my dad still sneaks money to him. He went to his 8th rehab a few months ago and wanted me to pay for it, I politely told him no. He is back to the "I can handle a little beer and pot" which will spiral to a 3-day bender in which he may or may not end up in jail. At one point he was in Huntsville for 6 years and to be honest my entire family slept better knowing he had a bed and food. I can cut him off and so can my sister but my parents will never do it and to be honest I can't blame them, he's there kid...............but just like we don't talk about trump when were all together, we don't talk about him either
family is family man. It just the way it is. Talk it out, tell them how you feel. I think what most families forget to do is, communicate?
Thanks to everyone for their input. It's my sister's kid and I've tried to help him as much as I possibly could for the past few years especially after his father passed. He'll remain in the county jail and I won't be bailing him out. He's gonna have to deal with this one on his own. At the minimum he'll be able get clean in there and maybe we can figure something out later. I have a large family and everyone is just sick and tired of the whole thing.
Sorry to hear of what's going on with your nephew! We all have different opinions, but ultimately you need to do what you think is best for everyone in your family. I give you kudos for being there for your nephew after he lost his father, believe me, there are a lot of people who wouldn't of stepped up to the plate to try and help him! Sometimes true love comes from letting some one learn from the consequences of their actions and behavior, and hopefully he's just going through a phase and this will help him turn his life back around! Wishing the best for you and your family! ....... ....... .......
