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Is Low B-BALL IQ when................?

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by jocar, Apr 12, 2014.

  1. jocar

    jocar Member

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    Disclaimer: This thread may or may not be about Javale McGee.


    You might be a low BB IQ player if you:

    1. Pick up the ball, instead of dribbling out of traps.
    -panic? fear of TO? no confidence in handles? or they just don't know what to do?

    2. Jump up into the air with only one thing on the mind - score!... defender challenges.... "HeLLlllllp!" mid-air panic throw to the nearest human being.
    Some NBA players do it once every 5 games. Others do it 5 times a game.

    3. Got defender?

    Option A: Stop your dribble. "Crap, what do I do now??" Pivot, pivot, pivot, pivaaaaaaaaaat!... K-Mart (not the player, the store) quality fade away!

    Option B: Do donuts! Vroom vroom! Past the defender, under the backboard, out to the free throw line, back towards basket, "Oh crap he's still there!", dribble another circle out past the arch and to the basket again, "Omg! An even bigger black guy is there this time!" ....Pick up dribble and plan next tactic, (whilst pivoting).

    4. Make dumb passes. Some who are great on the fast break when they're out in front, but some channel their inner Matt Schaubs in traffic. Point blank passes at the feet or face of big men.... so crazy, it might just work?
    Also... frequent "no look" passes to teammates who are no looking.

    5. One speed, no gears. Quick acceleration? Check! Creativity and handles to use it? Acceleration, check!

    6. Court awareness/vision. A lot of times, these players get tunnel vision. Once the ball is in their hands they've already decided where they're going with it. He's either turns into Iceman who can't get a shot off, or Goose who got locked on to and is screaming "EJECT! EJECT!" in mid-air. In the end, it breaks Meg Parsons' heart.

    7. Limited moves. Jab step, jab step, full speed ahead! Spin move? Hesitation? Behind the back? Inside-out? Crossover? Euro? Teardrop? Floater? Scoop? Hook? Left hand, you say?!

    "This ****'s 2k14, not '93 NBA Jam!" -Denzel

    8. Unable to adapt to new roles or learn from mistakes. When the offense isn't catered to certain players, they become passive and disengaged, unable to adjust to different styles or hone their other skills to fit in. The team must fit them for them to be successful.
    Insanity= picking up the ball and expecting defenders to magically vanish.

    9. Overhelp on D? Sure! Here's some help getting an open shot while I run over to my teammate to say hi. (Some expert analysts call this "funneling").

    10. Your "specialties" turned from strengths into weaknesses.
    a. Kinda hard getting teammates involved/making them better when you only have ONE or TWO assists per game!
    b. Attack the rim? With defenders waiting for me there, now? You cray?!
    3. "One does not simply forget how to throw a lob pass."

    11. Spotting up 7 feet behind the 3 pt line with only 2 seconds left on the clock, as if you can actually catch and shoot from there if the ball gets passed to you. 2 seconds? Plenty of time to dribble or drive! Fast acceleration, memba?!

    12. Takes hoverhand pictures with many a hoe, in cardboard cutout fashion. How may I live vicariously when thou smashes none?! :confused:

    13. Your gun rack has its own gun rack.

    Shaqtin a fool? Low basketball IQ?

    Other theories: Weak self confidence causes mental confusion, limited offensive weapons/skills, coaches making them, brain RAM already full, back pains spread through neural network and cannibalize brain, needs more than 38 minutes for maximum rhythmocity-finding, or coordinated marginalizationrianism by forces of evil.


    -Still all great guys though! (Unless.... strippers!) Go Rockets!-
     
    3 people like this.
  2. bullman0036

    bullman0036 Member

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    Haha very funny. MASTER, how can you read McGees mind?
     
  3. chenjy9

    chenjy9 Numbers Don't Lie
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    LOL I wonder who this is about?
     
  4. Orange

    Orange Member

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    Yes Jeremy lin is an idiot on the basketball court.
     
  5. bobloblaw

    bobloblaw Contributing Member

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    "I plead the fif"

    [​IMG]
     
  6. heads.up

    heads.up Member

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    I wonder what's up with Lin's game. I don't see improvement from previous years even regression. He used to attack the rim and blow past defenders rather easily with dribble moves and hesitation dribbles and finish rather well with contact in the paint. Now he has a hard time going past anybody and when he does he can't finish in the paint anymore.
     
  7. duluth111222

    duluth111222 I.D.I.O.T

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    I can confirm it's about McGee.

    Wrong forum. In before the moooove.
     
  8. duluth111222

    duluth111222 I.D.I.O.T

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    Oh no you didn't. Now get ready for a slew of excuses from you know who.
     
  9. Zergling

    Zergling Member

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    And you didn't even mention Lin's threes with a foot on the line!
     
  10. LosPollosHermanos

    LosPollosHermanos Houston only fan
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  11. pwnyxpress

    pwnyxpress Contributing Member

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    So the threads started by LOFs are a waste of space but these are...welcomed? Kay.

    I mean, since they're about McGee and all...
     
  12. Easy

    Easy Boban Only Fan
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    This thread is obviously about Raymond Felton.

    Wrong forum!
     
  13. Someguy1229

    Someguy1229 Member

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    About time someone called out Chalmers for being trash.
     
  14. heypartner

    heypartner Contributing Member

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    Yeah, but Lin has yet to score on the wrong basket. So there's still hope
     
  15. Pukimonster

    Pukimonster Member

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    You don't dribble out of traps. You recognize the trap is coming and pass out of it early because someone is gonna be open.

    What's dumb is expecting every 1 in the league to beat Miami's trap defense by trying to split it instead of countering the trap by getting the ball to the post, which is where Miami's defense sucks.

    Popovich knows this so he has Parker pass the ball early, cut through the paint and reset on the weakside to bait Miami into getting lost or trapping the wrong guy. If they didn't do that, Parker would get killed in the trap. Rockets just initiate their typical halfcourt sets against Miami instead of adjusting to feeding T Jones or Howard even though they naturally dominate against Miami's weak rim defense. Rockets have no game plan for unique teams - they just roll the dice on sheer talent - IE relying on Harden to shoot 75% from 3 to beat the Spurs. Your coaching staff sucks.

    Both Dragic and Rubio do this. Dragic does this to confuse the D make plays. Rubio does it because it's scared to shoot even if he's under the basket. Lin does it for the same reason Dragic does. The alternative is to pick up your dribble in the paint. So you want him to keep his dribble or you want him to pick it up?

    Bigger issue is other than Dwight and Greg Smith who's now gone, you have no bigs that can catch. And teammates should be looking, how can you not know where the ball is, there's only 1 and your job is to get it in the net.

    That's your FO's fault, signing a guy who's primary skillset is running the pnr and then barely running it. Same thing would happen if they took Beverley and gave him the role of probing the paint every possession.

    Best coaches don't do the square pegs into round holes thing. Popovich reinvented the Spurs offense to run through Parker. Thibs has Noah exclusively roam the high post as a playmaker, and the guy is dangerous now. If Pop still ran the offense through Duncan and Thibs had Noah finishing in the low post, both of them would look like garbage. Like Pau's looked for the past couple years because both Mike Brown and D'Antoni thought it's a good idea to pretend he's a stretch 4.

    Funneling is when you force the ballhandler to a spot on the court where he's ineffective. IE Chicago or Portland's ice defense. I don't know why the Rockets don't do more stuff like this considering they have a perimeter D problem. Instead they expect their wing defenders to play 1 on 1 D and get mad at them when they get burnt off a pick.
     
    2 people like this.
  16. Roc Paint

    Roc Paint Contributing Member

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    I love Linjas!
     
  17. topfive

    topfive CF OG

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    After reading that, I'm sure glad McGee isn't our backup PG. :grin:
     
  18. GanjaRocket

    GanjaRocket Member

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    he's just not a baller
     
  19. Roc Paint

    Roc Paint Contributing Member

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    And obviously not a shot caller either.
     
  20. chenjy9

    chenjy9 Numbers Don't Lie
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    Maybe he's too worried about them 20" blades and getting laid tonight.
     

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