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"I Just Want to Be Friends" - I Have too Many Friends Already!

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Manny Ramirez, Nov 27, 2001.

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  1. Rocketman95

    Rocketman95 Hangout Boy

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    Call her back, but (obviously) don't sound desperate.
     
    #21 Rocketman95, Nov 28, 2001
  2. Manny Ramirez

    Manny Ramirez The Music Man

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    Thanks for all the feedback and sharing your experiences, everyone. That is why I love this BBS and you guys are the greatest.:)

    Det the Threat: boy, what a dilemma to be in. Doesn't seem like to me that there is an easy solution to that problem. I feel for you, man.

    RocketsPimp: this girl that I'm talking about is a classic case of "I'm not calling you..you have to call me." I guess that should have told me right there, that she probably did not want anything more than a friendship. However, friends do call each other and I got the impression that if SHE called me, then I would get the wrong impression and that she might think that she was leading me on. Yet, I asked a girl that I used to work with, who is married about this, and she said that she NEVER called a guy, even her future husband. It seems that she was raised the old-fashioned way in that the man always initiates everything including phone conversations. Of course, having this in the back of my mind made me think that there was a chance that something could come out of this past friendship.....oh well.

    Rocketman95, ROXRAN, dean, etc. - thanks for the kind words.

    After my last relationship (which ironically ended 8-1-01 :p ), I learned that there are a lot of advantages in being single and also not being in a relationship. Don't get me wrong...if the opportunity presented itself, then yes, I would take advantage of it, but it's not the end of the world like it used to be for me. I just find it humorous that this girl that I dated a year ago has now lost that much weight and looks great, but we are destined to be nothing more than "friends". One big advantage of not being in a serious relationship means that instead of spending hard-earned cash on her, I'm spending zero dollars (well except for CDs) and "quality time" on the clutchcity BBS...LOL!

    Anyway, I do believe that there is somebody out there for me, but it's just that God has not revealed that person to me. Yes, I am a Christian (an Episcopalian), and I know that alot of people here are not Christians. That doesn't matter to me because it's not my place to judge others and I try to look for the good in people no matter what their faith is. That is why I never post in any religion threads. I don't think it's worth the effort on my part. Okay, I didn't mean to get into that, but if for some reason, I remain single until I die, then I have faith and all the confidence in the world that God will give me something else to compensate for that. Just a personal belief of "Manny Ramirez".....
     
    #22 Manny Ramirez, Nov 28, 2001
  3. RocketsPimp

    RocketsPimp Contributing Member

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    Well, I decided to wait. I had just gotten back when I last posted and NEEDED to eat, so I made some dinner that is just now ready. I'm off tomorrow so I can call her back then. I'm just relieved that she isn't blowing me off.

    Manny, I've been attracted to a few female friends in the past. One of my best lady friends I have now, I used to have a bad crush on back in high school. I let her know by secretly learning her locker combo and putting a rose in there one morning with a little note explaining my feelings, but also letting her know her friendship meant more to me. We are still good friends to this day and she always says, even in front of her boyfriends that the coolest thing anyone has ever done for her is what I did. Just try and be the man you were when you first started hanging out with her. If something comes of it in the future, great, if not, you'll always have a great, good looking lady friend to possibly hook you up!!
     
    #23 RocketsPimp, Nov 28, 2001
  4. ScreamingRocketJet

    ScreamingRocketJet Member

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    I dated a girl for 7 years...pretty painful when we split up. I then had a few girl friends...none really felt 'right'.

    I had a relationship with a girl for a year or so...and all the while I became really cool friends with a different girl. Me and her got to know each other really well as friends. After I split up with the other girl...me and the girl I'd become friends with got even closer over about another year. We married last year:)

    Moral of the story...because I was in a relationship, I got to know my wife as a friend. I never made any moves as I had a girl. We just were great friends and then fell in love.

    Treat a girl with respect...get to know her as a person...and the rest takes care of itself. Love evolves or it doesn't. Enjoy meeting people...the world is full of really cool people and really cool women, so you'll find one eventually.
     
    #24 ScreamingRocketJet, Nov 29, 2001
  5. Elvis Costello

    Elvis Costello Member

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    To quote a famous Rhode Scholar from Arkansas (insert lip bite here), I feel your pain, Manny. I think a lot of guys that actually like women (aside from those men who just want them as moms/breeders/jokes in a punch line/fantasies) go through the painful process of being on the wrong end of the I-just-want-to-be-friends syndrome. From my experience, the roles of the friend and get-yer-swirve-on partner are so different that the transition is pretty difficult for most people to navigate, especially when you are young. Iam with Mr Oily on this one: The girl you casually dated may actually have wanted to have a romantic relationship with you (sex, in other words) if you *didn't* start as friends. I know this sounds a bit old school, but I think most people still operate under these old ideas. I don't think it is a good arrangement, but it seems to be the status quo. When I met the woman I just married I decided not mess around with the friendship angle too much and, instead I immeadiately moved in for the kill, erm, romantic approach. Of course, I may have just lucked out... Scratch what I said..just be yourself, Manny.

    -Elvis, who thinks Screamingjet has the best advice.....................R-E-S-P-E-C-T is the key (as well as, O-R-A-L skills ; )
     
    #25 Elvis Costello, Nov 29, 2001
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