Turning up the heat -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By Ray Ratto Special to ESPN.com Well, we've seen enough. Mike Martz must go. And Dick Jauron, and Marvin Lewis, and Jim Haslett, and Dave Wannstedt, and Mike Shanahan. Rams coach Mike Martz left quarterback Kurt Warner in the game to take a beating against the Giants on Sunday. Yes, you say, but Shanahan won. We don't care. We have an officially designated hot seat, and it must be filled, accomplishments be damned. So bring on the werewolves, kids. It's football season, and we need bowling bags to fill up with heads, starting with ... MIKE MARTZ, St. Louis: Rams lose to Giants, 23-13 The Take: Hey Mikey, Kurt Warner's head was on reverb. What part of "Bulger, get your helmet" weren't you getting? And no, copping to it afterward is not a mitigating factor. The temperature: 206° DAVE WANNSTEDT, Miami: Dolphins lose to Texans, 21-20 The Take: Bad news, giggles. You were declared to be in trouble even before you LOST AT HOME TO THE TEXANS, FOR GOD'S SAKE! People were complaining about your team's miserable Decembers, and now it turns out that they're going to hate September too? Nice work. The temperature: 197° DAVE McGINNIS, Arizona: Cardinals lose to Lions, 42-24 The Take: Now we know that you coach the Cardinals, which is of course its own little slice of hell, but how do your fellows outgain a team that won two games last year by nearly 200 yards and still give up six scores? Plus, we know how Billy Bidwill's attention span works. The temperature: 186° DICK JAURON, Chicago: Bears lose to 49ers, 49-7 The Take: Nice start here. The eighth worst opening day performance in the 84-year history of professional football. That's out of 1,698 openers. Oh, and you better hope that Kordell Stewart has Comeback Player of the Year dreams, because he has some coming back from Sunday to do. The temperature: 169° MARVIN LEWIS, Cincinnati: Bengals lose to Broncos, 30-10 The Take: Uh, Marv, with all due respect, and we really are pulling for you, but truth is, you're coaching the Bengals. Gravity can be a real b****. The temperature: 151° JIM HASLETT, New Orleans: Saints lose to Seahawks, 27-10 The Take: Seattle isn't that good, and it's your bad luck that Tom Benson watches every game. The temperature: 148° BILL CALLAHAN, Oakland: Raiders lose to Titans, 25-20 The Take: Seventeen penalties, 173 yards, eight false starts before the marching bands took the field. And Al Davis is still chapped about only getting $34 million in his last court case. Do the math, because we are. The temperature: 136° MIKE SHERMAN, Green Bay: Packers lose to Vikings, 30-25 The Take: Too good a team to spit the bit at home. But lose to Detroit next week, and this week will seem like Mardi Gras with an open bar. The temperature: 135° MARTY SCHOTTENHEIMER, San Diego: Chargers lose to 27-14 The Take: I'm sure there's an explanation for this, but we just don't have the time for it just yet. The temperature: 132° BILL BELICHICK, New England: Patriots lose to Bills, 31-0 The Take: Even Patriot fans like to see more than zero points on opening day. The temperature: 129° MIKE SHANAHAN, Denver: Broncos beat Bengals, 30-10 The Take: You beat the Bengals, but Jake Plummer didn't exactly handle his opening day gimme with much command. The temperature: 126° BILL PARCELLS, Dallas: Cowboys lose to Falcons, 27-13 The Take: Geez, everyone told us how good he was, too. The temperature: 125° HERMAN EDWARDS, New York Jets: Jets lose to Redskins, 16-13 The Take: The No-Pennington excuse won't last very long for the cannibals who follow your team. The temperature: 123° JIM FASSEL, New York Giants: Giants beat Rams, 23-13 The Take: Hey, it's New York and all, but at least he's living better than Herman Edwards. The temperature: 128.8° BRIAN BILLICK, Baltimore: Ravens lose to Steelers, 34-15 The Take: You can spot some teams 27 points, but Pittsburgh isn't one of them. In fact, the only team we can think of that such a strategy would work against is Baylor. The temperature: 121° Terrell Owens delivered on the field, but gave the game ball to Dennis Erickson after the game. DENNIS ERICKSON, San Francisco: 49ers beat Rams, 49-7 The Take: Go on, do it again. We dare you. The temperature: 119° BUTCH DAVIS, Cleveland: Browns lose to Colts, 9-6 The Take: Two field goals in the opener? No. The temperature: 118° TONY DUNGY, Indianapolis: Colts beat Browns, 9-6 The Take: Three field goals in the opener? No. The temperature: 117.7° JOHN FOX, Carolina: Panthers beat Jaguars, 24-23 The Take: A quarterback controversy already? Good thing nobody has put the Super Bowl Contender kick-me sign on him yet. The temperature: 114° STEVE SPURRIER, Washington: Redskins beat Jets, 16-13 The Take: It seems like weeks since he's played. Mr. Snyder on Line Two. The temperature: 107° DAN REEVES, Atlanta: Falcons beats Cowboys, 27-13 The Take: Good start to Plan B -- Stalling Until Plan A Heals. The temperature: 91° JEFF FISHER, Tennessee: Titans beat Raiders, 25-20 The Take: He may never feel any seat heat. Then again, he was supposed to be in trouble a couple of years ago, so what do we know? The temperature: 90° BILL COWHER, Pittsburgh: Steelers beat Ravens, 34-15 The Take: A surprisingly easy opener against a divisional rival ... why do we hear land mines ticking? The temperature: 88° JACK DEL RIO, Jacksonville: Jaguars lose to Panthers, 24-23 The Take: So close, and yet, so close. The temperature: 85° MIKE TICE, Minnesota: Vikings beat Packers, 30-25 The Take: See? He didn't even need a Randy Ratio. He just needed three first-half interceptions. Piece of cake, right? The temperature: 82° DICK VERMEIL, Kansas City: Chiefs beat Chargers, 27-14 The Take: One of those boutique Super Bowl picks, starting fast. The temperature: 77° MIKE HOLMGREN, Seattle: Seahawks beat Saints, 27-10 The Take: He's 1-0 as former general manager, and Rick Neuheisel sure did provide a lot of cover. The temperature: 76° GREGG WILLIAMS, Buffalo: Bills beat Patriots, 31-0 The Take: Anonymity, and a 31-point win? Man, where can we get one of those? The temperature: 74° STEVE MARIUCCI, Detroit: Lions beat Cardinals, 42-24 The Take: There's nothing like a low bar freshly cleared to brighten one's day and put a bounce in the stride. The temperature: 74° DOM CAPERS, Houston: Texans beat Dolphins, 21-20 The Take: People may hate you for screwing up their suicide pools in week one, Chuckles, but you go with God. The temperature: 71° Ray Ratto is a columnist with the San Francisco Chronicle and a regular contributor to ESPN.com Who's hot? Who's not? Top Ten (Cajun style) 1. Mike Martz, St. Louis 2. Dave Wannstedt, Miami 3. Dave McGinnis, Arizona 4. Dick Jauron, Chicago 5. Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati 6. Jim Haslett, New Orleans 7. Bill Callahan, Oakland 8. Mike Sherman, Green Bay 9. Marty Schottenheimer, San Diego 10. Bill Belichick, New England Bottom Ten (Lightly chilled) 1. Who's hot? Who's not? Top Ten (Cajun style) 1. Mike Martz, St. Louis 2. Dave Wannstedt, Miami 3. Dave McGinnis, Arizona 4. Dick Jauron, Chicago 5. Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati 6. Jim Haslett, New Orleans 7. Bill Callahan, Oakland 8. Mike Sherman, Green Bay 9. Marty Schottenheimer, San Diego 10. Bill Belichick, New England So far so good...man, what a good win yesterday...I was so pumped up during the game.
