ESBN.com: Spurs, Alamodome, and Sunset Station Hold...

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Spurs, Alamodome, and Sunset Station Hold Press Conference

Sneak Preview: NFL teases San Antonio.....again


A press conference was held July 17 to discuss the boring preseason match-up of Tom Benson's New Orleans Chevrolets and Red McCombs' Minnesota Fords, to be played in San Antonio's Alamodome on August 11, in order to use San Antonio to extort new publicly financed stadiums from the states of Minnesota and Louisiana.

"I've been kicking Tom Benson's ass for our entire 'business' lives," said McCombs. "We're fortunate that he's just bringing his Aint's and that I can bring the Randy Moss. The game is just another example of how easy it is to fool San Antonio. It's going to be fun."


Red McCombs looks forward to kicking Tom Benson's ass. (Spurs photo.)

The Spurs Vice President of Marketing, Bruce Guthrie, dee-jayed the press conference and was joined by McCombs, Vikings Left Offensive Tackle Brad Badger, Former Vikings Quarterback and SA native Tommy Kramer, Alamodome Director Mike Abington and Sunset Station General Manager Tom Ozene. Vikings Head Coach and Vice President Dennis "Pumpkinhead" Green and Vikings Quarterback Daunte "Hot" Culpeppper joined the conference by phone. Guthrie, McCombs and Abington discussed why this match-up promises to be a low-intensity, action-less event, as well as the game's unimportance to the San Antonio community as the first lame preseason NFL football game held in the Alamo City in almost six years. Green and Culpepper talked about the current team roster and said the same sh^t they say during every media interview about what they expect to see from the team in the upcoming season. Everyone involved pretended to be excited about the pending game.

"This is going to be one skunk of a football game," said Abington. "I can't predict whether the Saints or the Vikings will prevail, but I do know that the city of San Antonio is the loser."

To conclude the conference, Tom Ozene discussed the "World's Largest Tailgate Orgy," sponsored by H-E-B, Budweiser, McCormick, Vaseline, Georgia Pacific and Benson Automotive. The orgy, to be held on game day from noon to 6:30 p.m., will feature the world's largest waterbed, live music and entertainment, over 60 sex toy booths, interactive games, the Spurs' Southwestern Bell FANSiesta and much more. In addition, Benson Automotive is giving away a w**** as part of the special contest during halftime of the game, and the five whores the winner gets to choose from will be on display at Sunset Station during the tailgate orgy.


Bruce Guthrie, VP Marketing of the Spurs, discusses the World's Largest Tailgate Orgy. (Spurs photo.)


"One of the great things about our orgy is that half of Sunset Station will be decorated for the Saints, and the other half will be decorated for the Vikings," said Ozene. "It's going to be a great time and we hope that people will come join us before heading over to the Dome to see the game. I just hope that Tony Ayala doesn't show up again."

Tickets are still available while supplies last, and range in price from $1 to $6. Tickets can be purchased at the Alamodome and Spurs Box Offices (both are located at the Alamodome), by calling (210) 224-ORGY, or online at Ticketmasterbaiter.com.