DUKE recently had a brrrrrrrilliant idea. IT DID NOT WORK SO I TELL YOU THIS SOTRY as a WORNING. OK so DUKE kept going to places like MICDONALDS and CHUCKEY CHEESES and running out of money. IT IS FUNNY how that happens. DUKE WAS ANGRY at not having no money with me. SO DUKE has a idea: WHY NOT MAKE MY OWN MONEY?!!?!?? What is so special about AMERICAN dollars? Huh./ RIGHT. THEY have pictures of DEAD people on them. WELL that doesn't scare DUKE none!!! DUKE decieded to make my OWN dollars, and put a PUICTURE of a famous celeberety on them. Same difference. Uh heah. Yes. YOU KNOW DUKE IS RIGHT. DUKE also took out all the camels and pyrameds and eyeballs, who needs? FIRST DUKE drew one, then I went to KINKYO's and made 6,000 copies of it!!! BINGO you aer sitting there poor but DUKE had 6,001 DUKE DOLLARS!!!!! SEE: There only one little problem with DUKE's plan. EVEREWHERE DUKE went, no one would ACCEPT the DUKE DOLLLARS?!??!!? Eveything would go fiiiiiiiine until it was time to pay, then the people got ALL SNOTTY about the DUKE MONEY. Like I went to K-Mart to buy some GI JOEs. OK and I get to the frfont of the line? AND I put the GI JOE men down on the register and the WOMAN USES THE LAAAAAASER to count up how much they are and she tells DUKE. Fifty-one dollars. NOOOOOO PROBLEM, DUKE IS MADE of money!!! BUT when I tried to give here DUKE DOLLARS she looked at me like I HAD just stuck a PENCIAL in the POPE's ear!!!!! "Sir, I can't accept this. This is a photocopy of... well, it's not a dollar. We only take American currency here," is what SHE SAID!!! WELL DUKE does not stand for talk like THAT foem the little people! DUKE said "OK BUT YOU WILL RUUUUUUUUE THE DAAAAAAAY you sent the DUKE away!" (it helps to rhyme when you are impressing people). SO THAT IS THE MORALS of DUKE's story: YOU CANNOT MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY. FUdgesickles. ------------------ CARPE RECTUM: seize the recreation!!!!! [This message has been edited by LHutz (edited April 16, 2001).]
The more I read this Duke, the more I am convinced that it is Brian Kagy! ------------------ "Blues is a Healer" --John Lee Hooker
I don't care what you guys say, that story was great. Can you picture someone at the front of a long Wal-Mart checkout line, seriously trying to pay for GI Joes using that "money"? Hehe.. ------------------ My dream job is to be a Houston Rockets towel boy.
it was Kmart , Did you even read it? ------------------ Vice President of Executive Operations of the Sean Colson Fan Club http://bbs.babitze.com
me and a friend went to wal mart once and got 2 bags of pixi stix and asked her if we could open them up and exchange the blue and green ones out for orange and purple ones and she said no. then we asked her if we could put the pixi stix on layaway. her facial expression was PRICELESS. ------------------ president of the sleepy floyd to hall of fame club. http://www.it-is-truth.org http://members.fortunecity.com/omar369
DUKE, you should go to Dairy Queen, with a $200 DUKE bill, and get change. Then you can buy your GI Joe with the change. ------------------ Stay Cool...
Whoops! K-Mart.. Wal-Mart.. what's the diff? ------------------ My dream job is to be a Houston Rockets towel boy.
as long as we are talking about funny things to do in walmar/kmart, check out this list of annoying things to do in a walmart: 1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 2. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in. 3. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 4. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 5. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 6. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 7. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 8. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10". 9. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 10. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?" 11. Repeat Number 10 in the jewelry department. 12. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive." 13. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 14. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. 15. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" 16. Put M&M's on layaway. 17. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 18. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 19. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 20. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 21. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!" 22. TP as much of the store as possible. 23. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 24. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. 25. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 26. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 27. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 28. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 29. Take bets on the battle described above. 30. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 31.While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. 32. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 33. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 34. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 35. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 36. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 37. Two words: "Marco Polo." 38. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels. 39. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. 40. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 41. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 42. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. ------------------ ~John~ Help keep the obsessed thread alive post the reasons why you are an obsessed Rockets fan by clicking here
Was is the current exchange rate on Dukey to American dollars???? ------------------ "Repression never did me any harm (I finally ceased to include "stop masturbating" as one of my guilt ridden New Year's resolutions, but that's a different topic)." Achebe - programmer by day, Mrs Palmers Husband by night
I don't think I was around to read the original LHutz, but I have a difficult time imagining that he was funnier than this one. I will always enjoy your posts, LHutz. Keep reaching for that rainbow. On a side note, the only really crazy thing my buddies and I did at Wal-mart was go at about 1:00 AM. We went to one of the back aisles, where all the comforters and sheets are. We each took a package of a comforter, and, using them as pillows, layed down and fell asleep until they kicked us out of there. At one point I heard the janitor show up at our aisle with his floor buffer... he just stood there for a minute and then continued on, leaving our aisle largely unbuffed. It was great fun. ------------------ President of the Anal Retentive School for Jerks Hey, I wanted to be president of something, and I swear everyone took every other presidential position already.
I actually got kicked out of a Wal-Mart for doing this once. Hey, I was drunk. Is that the best you could do? type in "55378008" and it spells "Boobless" upside down. One time I went to visit some friends in Huntsville. We got hammered and went to play hide-and-seek at the Super Wal-Mart. One dude passed out while hiding in one of those circular-shaped shirt rack thingies. We couldn't find him, and didn't hear from him until the next afternoon. Wal-Mart is great fun. ------------------ "I have no regrets except that I wasn't up to keep Randy from getting on that plane." --Ozzy Osbourne on guitarist Randy Rhodes [This message has been edited by Lynus302 (edited April 17, 2001).]
Isn't that where the big state jail is. Note to self: Avoid Lynus's friends for safety reasons ------------------ ~John~ Help keep the obsessed thread alive post the reasons why you are an obsessed Rockets fan by clicking here
