SO all of the BBS KNOWS DUKE is big time laywer, OH YEAH. DUKE DUIKE DUKE can outargue ANYONE YOU PUT IN FRONT ME OF, like John Scopes or President Millord Fillmore or taht evil statanic Matlock, THEY WILL GO DOWN LIKE A ANCHOR (in water, it weill sink, DUH). BUT DUKE'S BRILIANCE is not to be limitated to just the LEGAL LAW. Oh NO. DUKE ALSO has many SUPERSMRART IDEAS for what the buisness communiody calls MARKET-ING. WEBSTER defines marketng as various small clawed monkeys of the genera Callithrix and Cebuella, found in tropical forests of the Americas and having soft dense fur, tufted ears, and long tails. THAT"S NOT WHAT IT IS, WEBSTER IS SO STUPID since the TV show cot canceld. ANYWAY DUKE'S MARkteing ideas: 1) People need to buy MORE GUNS. If you has a gun, who can defeat you? NO BODY. So DUKE wants more eople to have guns. DUKE will encourge this by driving around the FREE WAY and waving his GUNS at other drivers!@!!!!! THEY WILL be SO HAPPY TO BUY THEM. And te best way to get othre drivers ATENION is to drive at them REA\LY FAST, honk the horny, flash the bright lights, MAYBE EVEN BUMP THEM. DUKE tode his friends of this idea and BRETT said "Hey, maybe you could actually fire a shot at them, let them see how well the gun works, Lionel!" And he lauaghed. You see the porblem with this DONT YOU. Huh Right? what if DUKE shotted somebody??? Then they coud not BUY A GUN!!!!!!!! Rule #1 of the marketing busness, DO NOT KILL YOUR CUSSTOMERs. 2) WOmen are weak and their are lots of BAD GUYS out there!!!! Women need to portect themselves with peper spray! DUKE's idea is simplel go out in public, pick a WOMAN, and follows her home! THEN grab her before she get in the house and say "HEY LADY, I GOT SOMETING YOU WANT!!!!!" and say it like really loud in her ear, so she can know DUKE IS ENTHUSIASM. DUKE just realzed. someone nmight STEAL DUKE'S IDEAs, if they are posted here!!!! SO NEVER MIND, DUKE WILL NOT POST this info afer all, HJAHHAHA, DUKE will be rich and almoooo will be eating coins from out of the GUTER>
Duke, don't forget to be driving your Hummer when you're on the freeway waving your gun at other motorists. Remember, nothing says "Man With a Half Inch Penis" better than a dude driving a Hummer and waving a big ol' gun!
You know Duke, if you watch any old Westerns, you'll know something about the most bad ass of the bad asses out there: Huh. Right? They all have two guns. I mean, what's better than having a gun? Absolutely. Having TWO guns. And you know what else? I never see cops carrying more than one gun. We'd have a lot less crime if cops had two guns. I think you need to try your idea out on cops first. But don't bump them....they might think you're drunk (just my two cents). If you just drive around on the freeway, you're sure to come up to an accident sooner or later, and that's a good place to find a bunch of cops together. Either that, or you might try police stations or donut shops. I'd try this myself, but I'm not supposed to leave the house.
I wish I could have seen just one post of the original LHutz. Hearing all the stories about it makes me not even think that the LHutz posts that I read now (like the one in this thread) are that funny.
True but it isn't "working" for me so I have to use alternate methods. Maybe you or someone else that has the search function "working" can help me out and post something by the original LHutz.
Duke....... I've never seen a more blatant case of false advertising since my lawsuit against "The Neverending Story".
http://bbs2.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=13276 http://bbs2.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=14100 http://bbs2.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15611 http://bbs2.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15879
I remember the Duke. The real Duke. Before the days of .net and the transformation of the site into a Two Roads Media project. Before clutchfans, when clutchcity was a fan's obsession and not a legal liability question. Back in the .com days, before and after the unspeakable scandal of Frank and his attempts to create a bizarro clutchcity site. The real Duke posted, yes, back in the shadowy history of this BBS, when Jenna defended the Mailman, only to be cast out of this Eden, when heypartner did not become heypee yet, when thecabbage and almu and Dreamer posted with impeccable wit - parry and thrust, sidestep and hit - when Mrs. JB was known only in Jeff's posts and not by her own venerable words, when Popeye had not evolved to Oilpere and Doc Rocket had just begin to issue his subtle teasers; yes, when trolls like the Caveman and sheepherders from Greece roamed, with only Behad and Mango and a couple of gritty post police patrolling, keeping the peace. Yes, Mango had not imposed his self-hibernation yet. Even before the Cat was relegated to one forum only. The Duke was funny. Hilarious. Gut wrenching funny because it was so odd - so illogically and undeniably twisted in his nuggets of insanities. Back when Super Mario was a column and Clutchcity had a guestbook. Yes, but that Duke is gone now, only a distant memory of times gone past. Back in the glory days, when the haze of championship banners still pervaded the site. When basketball was discussed and politics and religion could be discussed among polite adults - before the cynicism and negativity crept in to the GARM and poo flinging forced the Debate forum to come writhing out. But one day, one day.. the The Return of the Duke!!
cur.ve. me gets a tear in me eye....ahh the old days when I did nothing but lurked and laughed and learned from the best discussions on the net. I remember those days well... btw...some say that those links that moe posted are not the real Duke either...I believe most of the original Duke posts were lost in the move to the new board.
