not married, and in fact never has been. I've met him a few times and always thought he was a nice guy. she hasn't told him yet, but expects to tonight.
Why would he do that if decent. If they aren't the right people to be married (i.e. - fighting all the time, bad household, etc.) there is no guarantee, and less of a likelihood, that a two-parent household would be a better environment for the kids, much less the adults.
Not to sound like Dr Laura, but... She "wanted kids" but didn't want a husband or boyfriend? I guess kids don't really need a Dad these days... And if he were a "nice guy" he wouldn't have been having unprotected sex with her in the first place. Man, it's really too bad that these kids, through no fault of their own, have to suffer in life because of the stupid decisions their parents make.
Well I guess your idea of decent is different than mine. It is just a shame that 2 kids could *possibly* grow up without having a stable family, i.e. a mother and father under one roof. I see your point, JayZ, about that it could be worse for the kids if they had 2 parents constantly fighting, but that is why it is such a big decision to have kids and should not be taken lightly as it seems to be in this case. And there is a thing called counseling, you know? There must have been something there between these 2 for them to make love. That love for one another may no longer be there, but if they really want to be good parents and make sure that their kids have the best childhood possible, they should try to work this thing out. Oh well, I guess I am old-fashioned about this. I know it is a losing battle I am fighting so I will be quiet about it.
I disagree with the marrying her just because he knocked her up. I also agree with the notion that her "hoping" to get prego with a guy that isnt prepared is highly irresponsible. That is a setup and a terrible position to put that guy. If she wanted kids so bad she had options. Adoption or getting artificially insemenated. This guy is now stuck with these kids that he may or may not have wanted. He had no say in the situation. She was "half playing with fire" and he is getting burned as well.
well, you're making some assumptions here. A) she wants a husband. B) who's to say the kids will suffer. lifew ill certainly be a challenge for their mother, but from what i've observed w/ her interaction w/ our kids, she has strong maternal instincts, and i think she'll actually be an excellent parent. yes, it'd be better of the kids had a mother and a father, but i know several kids that are growing up in single parent, or other non-traditional, families, and i certainly wouldn't sat the kids are sufferring.
A 2 parent household is inherently better than a single-parent household, imo. That's not to say that 2 bad parents are better than one good one, but the ideal setup is to have both a mother and a father. Not to mention the fact that she'll be 60 by the time her children graduates high school. Keeping up with twins is going to be a real challenge for her, I think. Aren't there health risks for older mothers going through childbirth as well?
her kids will grow up in america with freedom, there's no possible way whatsoever that they will suffer.
I was going to address this, but I see a few other people already have, so let me ask this: Manny, if you got a girl pregnant and you didn't see having a future with her, would you marry her just because she was having a kid, knowing that you really didn't see her as your "life long partner"?
You certainly bring up valid points... Just my personal opinion on this is that kids are just as likely to be screwed up with 2 parents as with 1 or be perfectly content and normal with 1 as with 2...regardless of the "empirical" evidence...it just has to be so case by case, depending on who the parents are and the inherent genetic characteristics of the kids in the first place. I do beleive, that in a healthy environment all around, a 2 parent situation is better in general, though, so there is no reason to not try and see if marriage is an option.
My oldest (and only) graduated 2 years ago and I'm 40 But luckily with medical advances someone who is 60 now is really not that old. In 20 more years who know what the average life expectancy will be.
Child support...If she goes after it, its I believe 20% for the first kid, 5% there after... Hopefully the guy won't be an ass...
I don't know why everyone is so down about the whole thing. It feels like the D&D in here. Basso, tell her congratulations.
Well, Pimp, I don't think that would be a problem for me. I would not have sex with someone unless I felt that they were "marriage" material. Of course, the ideal situation is to wait until after the wedding to consummate the marriage; however, contrary to what people might believe, I don't think it is all that bad to have pre-marital sex as long as you know you are having it with your soulmate. To have sex just to do it, especially with someone you really don't love, is something I don't think is right. I believe that you should be in love with this person before you perform that act. And in your hypothetical situation, I don't see myself getting someone pregnant that I didn't think I had a future with.
Exactly! 41's not so old. If she's wanting to be a mamma...now's as good a time as any. And nothing wrong about being a single mom.
So generally speaking (not directed at you or your friend, basso), you guys don't think kids need Dads? And before you jump on me for being "judgemental" my sister is a single Mother of 2 great kids (one of which will be the next John Bonham with a little help from his Uncle. ). She got a divorce when they were very young. Things happen, I know. But to purposely set out to be a single Mom and therefore deny your kid the chance to have a Father doesn't really seem fair to the child. Maybe it's just me.
If she skipped on the birth control "half-hoping" to get pregnant, then told the guy to go ahead and make his deposit inside of her b/c she was "on the pill," then she is as evil as the man is stupid.
