one of our best friends, 41 y/o single woman, not involved in a LTO, just found out she's 8-weeks pregnant...with twins...and she was on the pill, although apparently she'd miss a few pills each month. she'll have the babies, but she is deeply, incredibly, freaked out about it...
Sounds like something from the X-Files. Has she noticed a sinister, cigarette-smoking man hanging around the lobby of her apartment?
What's to get freaked about? A sexually active woman who didn't properly practice birth control got pregnant. Shouldn't be any surprise there. -- droxford
My wife and I don't want to have kids yet, so I read all of the info on the pill. Perfect use of the pill is OVER 99% effective. Imperfect use decreases the chance down to about 92%. Missing any pills in one month causes that month to be marked as IMPERFECT...even if taken the next day to catch up. If she is missing her pills a couple of times a month, she might as well not have been on the pill. Especially if she also took anitbiotics, got sick, or anything else during a particular month. When used the right way, the pill is about the best there is, but if a woman is not disciplined in taking her pill, she should use back up protection.
how do you define "promiscuous?" single? yeah, she had sex w/ a guy, and old boyfriend no less. i'm not sure that qualifies as "promiscuous." also, the deeply freaked aspect refers to her state of mind, not the likelyhood of this happening. being a middle-aged single mother of twins is not going to be easy...
Well, if she can prove who the father is, she should get financial help, correct? I know there are lots of programs available from different organizations and churches to help in adult education for single parents. If she gets a good support group of friends and family that are available to offer help, that would also be awesome. If she does decide that she can't handle raising kids at this time in her life, there are thousands of families that would be willing to take the kids through adoption if it came to that.
I edited my post to say "sexually active." I'm referring to her state of mind as well. When you drive a car into a tree without wearing a seatbelt, don't be surprised when your face hits the windshield. When you jump out of an airplane when you don't know how to operate a parachute, don't be suprised when you hit the Earth. And if a sexually active woman doesn't take the pill properly, it shouldn't come as any surprise to her when she gets pregnant. RTFM. If you're gonna be freaked about anything, be freaked about how a 41-year-old woman can make the same careless mistake as a 15-year-old girl. -- droxford
I have to agree. It sucks that it happened but at 41 she should know that if she plays with fire she could get burned. Thats why I got fixed. Its the best thing I ever did. No more puppies for this guy.
Daycare for 2 kids is 1500-2000 dollars a month, so I hope she has family that can help or makes alot of money. Otherwise, she and her kids are screwed.
she wants children, and will ask the father for help. i'm not sure what his legal obligations are but i think he probably had a reasonable expectation that she was using birth control. personally, i think he should step up. he certainly has the resources to contribute, and morally it's the right thing to do. not sure, given the circumstances, i think he should have a legal obligation tho.
I'm pretty damn sure that he does have a legal obligation. The only way that he can get out of it is if he fights paternity. They can test for that though and then dude is stuck like chuck.
Yeah, he definitly has legal obligations. If it's proven to be his child then he'll be required by law to pay child support.
There is another method that is 100% effective. It is called abstinence. That is too bad for your friend, basso and hopefully the father of these twins will step up and help her out. But I'm with droxford on this one - sounds like she was playing with fire never thinking she would get burned but she did.
is that obligation based on state or federal law? if the former, and she lives in one state, where the act in question took place, and he in another, which state's law applies?
actually, i think she was playing w/ fire half-hoping she would get burned. now that she has, she's stunned to have her bluff called. the twins aspect just pushes it to eleven on the freakometer.
If he is a decent guy, he would marry your friend (that is assuming he isn't already married). But that might be expecting too much...
