I already have a clue how I'm going to handle this situation but I feel that if I had some more input it could help widen my approach. I also hate to go on the board and just throw down my relationship problems, but the person that I would turn to for advice is the one I can't talk to about this. Anyways here goes the story. I have an amazing friend, she does anything to help me as I gladly do the same. See now we use to date about three years ago and even after the breakup I've still had feelings for her. Mainly because I was too stupid to express all of them to her at the time. Continuing on, this friend of mine even went through the trouble to hook me up with a date. My first date in six months. Anyways this person I was fixed up with and I started hanging around each other constantly. So we officially became an item and I was ecstatic. Of course when your dating certain situations have a tendency to arise. Now as a virgin in almost any realm of the romantic field, I needed some counseling. Well leave it up to the undying support of my friend to guide me. I couldn't even imagine how "deep" the lesson plan would be though. Now its not what she did that is leading me to these feelings but its that fact that she did them solely for me, not for any enjoyment of her own. Also noting that before this even happened I had some strong emotions towards her, but it was this that carried them over the line. Seems like this would have a simple answer, these are not simple circumstances though. I guess now is the time to get to the point of it. After my friend and I broke up three years ago she went through a lifestyle change. Now you probably see what I'm getting to and the problem that I am facing. I want to just keep it a secret and stay course with our friendship but I'm madly in love with her. Even though I've tried to rationalize that it can't possibly work, I just cannot silence my heart. So now that you've read my version of Chasing Amy 2: The Quickening, any suggestions?
Chasing Amy didn't work, right? Just because you have a big sumpin to tell her, doesn't mean there is ever a Hollywood ending to unrequited love. Unless your name is Harry and her name is Sally, there is no chance for success by running up some stairs and banging on a window: "Stella, Stella" no that's not right... "Elaine, Elaine" I love you! deanbcurtis. You must treat this like restarting a relationship. Don't jump in with this confession for love. Just date her. Ask her like you would any women. Confessing love will scare her away.
My thought is be honest. Better to regret saying it and having her reject you than to regret never saying anything and wonder, "what if" the rest of your life. At least if you tell her and she rejects you, you know exactly where you stand. As it is, you aren't sure and THAT is the real problem.
Yeah, thats along the lines of what I was thinking. Except its going to be difficult starting a relationship with a woman who doesn't date men, and last I checked I was one. Stupid gender.
I'm an expert with women, most of you guys here know that. When I've liked someone, I usually try to keep my feelings bottled inside, but they ALWAYS come out, and then it's too late. If you're madly in love with her, she may already know this. I imagine you to be alot bolder than me, so I say tell her how you feel. Keeping it bottled inside will only make you feel worse. Ladies, it's tough to be a guy.
are you sure you're not interested in her again just cuz of her "change"? (Like that episode when George Costanza's ex-gf Susan started dating women..."I drive them to Lesbianism and he brings them back!") anyway, as someone who's fallen for countless str8 boys I can empathize with your situation. my advice is to weigh your options and see if losing the friendship over this is an acceptable risk. Whatever you choose, good luck to you.
That is exactely what is holding me from saying anything. Our friendship is one that could last forever.
It has come to my attention that Seinfeld is really just a piecing together of the lifes of many different people on this BBS. True, True
I feel that you can't keep these feelings bottled up inside of you. Sooner or later, you're going to be so miserable that every time you are around her, you may have a hard time keeping it together. Tough situation--I can empathize with you. The last thing a guy wants to go through is rejection by a girl that he likes. Women just don't understand how hard that is for us, guys. BTW - I admire your guts in telling people here that you're a virgin. IMO, if you have been never married, then being a virgin is what you need to be. Unfortunately, TV and other media outlets make being a virgin out to be something to be ashamed of. Thus, a generation is influenced in a bad way.
I tried to use this excuse. But the way I see it, once you get married, (most) people usually give up the close friendship of the opposite sex. Sure, many guys "say" they won't, but it usually ends up that way. Once your married and she's married, ya will go your opposite ways. So my thought is, what do you have to lose? Just remember when picking up advice: ALL WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT! No matter what Maximum, or GQ, or what (wo)men magazines say, you know this girl better than them all. She may eat up the idea that you are in love with her, and tell you the same thing; or she might think you are a freak and moving too quick, thinking you are being decitful about your intentions of ya's friendship. But from my experince, take it slow. Don't overwhelm her.
May I suggest dropping from the sky, more than a little bewildered, covered in dozens of dozens of thorny roses?
Sorry, Dean, I don't know why it's doing that. Try here: http://www.chron.com/content/chronicle/comics/archive/showComick.hts?date=20010907&name=Better_Half
