please help - anyone know portuguese?

I am looking for assistance from any of my CF brethren who may know how to curse in Brazilian Portuguese. I manage a business where we recieve many calls from around the world on our own toll free numbers. Apparently, some kids (I would hate to think these were adults but I really can't tell) in Brazil have gotten a hold of our number and have been inundating our office with obscene calls. You can tell they don't speak English and may not even know what it is they are saying as they will simply repeat phrases like "f--- you" and "you want my di--". I have the software to intercept these calls, but I still have to answer them myself to ensure that it is not an actual client. I would appreciate any snappy comebacks to the above as well as anything that may shock these callers a bit (ie. - your mother is a w****, etc.) I know it seems harsh but I have an inescapable urge to get the last word on these punks since, in all likelihood, we are going to have to change the number and print new materials for our clients. Can anyone help a fellow CF'er get over?

 

many thanks!