My Grandfather passed last nite. It is kind of out of the blue. He had sugery and was doing fine. Then he passed late last nite. The family is coping but now I have the unenviable task of explaining it to my 7 yr old. I'm not sure how to go about it. Dunno if he should goto the Funeral. Thanks for your opinions and well wishes. Rocket River
If he was close to him, and you consider him mature enough to attend one, then let him. If not, don't let him. My great-grandma passed about a week ago, and I couldn't make the funeral because I'm about 2,000 miles away, and it sucks terribly. I'd let him.
I can remember going to my great-grandmothers funeral when I was six years old. My family always grieved at the funeral but then life went on. Death is as much apart of life as birth. I would think that you can explain it to him, I think at seven he should understand. Sorry for you loss.
I was 4 when my grandfather (dad's dad) passed away. I went to the funeral and I still remember to this day, wondering why everyone was so sad (remembering that at the time - obviously I know why now). To me, my grandfather was just sleeping. So, in retrospect, I was probably too young to go to this since I didn't understand the significance of the event. So, I don't know what to tell you - it is like what one poster said, if he had a close relationship to him, then I would let him go. Sorry to hear about your loss, River.
My grandfather (father's father) passed away when I was 5. It wasn't out of the blue, though He had cancer for almost a year. I remember my mother telling me plainly that "he passed away". I also remember being upset for a short time, but I'm not sure if I really knew why I was upset. They did not let me go to the funeral. You'll probably be more able to tell if your son should attend the funeral by how he acts when you break the news to him. I think my mother thought it might be too much for my father to deal with at the funeral. He was the most saddened and probably needed my mother there, undistracted by small children. Sorry, RR.
what i remember from the funerals i went to when i was young, was that when i was very young i didn't understand much of it(the only thing i remember is seeing my grandfather cry). and when i was a little bit older i started to understand. I think you should let the boy decide, i think that going is the best option for him but only if he wants to.
Sorry for your loss RR. I guess I don't really have much insight into this, but after you figure out how you are going to tell your kid, maybe you should let him decide.
I feel like when a family member dies everyone should be there. It is a part of life and they should experience it. Pain, hurt, and loss are something that everyone has to go through and kids should be able to say goodbye. They also should see that you are hurting as well and know that it is ok and normal to feel that way. Talk to them and explain all of that as well. When my dad died, both of my kids were there and I wouldnt have had it any other way. My son was 4-5 and my daughter was 2-3. They handled it just fine and I think it was a life lesson.
Two years ago this month, my grandmother passed away in Mexico. DARN IT, I couldn't go see it. Since I was so close to her, I think that I needed to see her actually being buried so I could close that particular chapter of my life with her, so I sort of had to BELIEVE she was gone and I couldn't be with her any more. Sometimes, you need closure. I'd say ask him how he remembers his grandfather and then take it from there. If he was really really close, he may need HIS OWN closure. Que En Paz Descanse tu abuelito. may your Grandfather Rest in Peace. +
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my Grandpa a month before my son was born. + If you are religious, ask your son if he knows what heaven is and take it from there. At seven, I think he is old enough, and may want to see his Grandpa one last time. I have an eight year old, and I would let him say goodbye to Grandpa.
Three weeks ago we buried my fiance's grandfather, he was like a father to her since hers was not there for her. She has a 8 year old daughter and that was her grandfather. She took it hard but she was there for it all, she didn't want to go to softball practice for a while because he loved watching her play. It is never easy but you can't protect them from this forever.
I lost both my father just after I finished college. I had a neice who was about seven. She went to the funeral. I know that she was a little sad, but didn't really say much about it. I do know that she was more in touch with the sadness around her. She gave me one of her stuffed animals and told me she wanted me to have it. About a month later my brother(her father) told me that she and some other girls spent a day at recess just sitting on the playground talking about how none of them had grandfathers anymore. She understood more than I thought. My mother died a few years ago, which was a few years after my father. This time I had a nephew who was six. He went to the funeral as well. Of course at the viewing there were folks crying, and my nephew took note, and started crying as well. When we were on our way to the funeral he asked if everybody was going to be crying again. My brother told him, that there would be, and he wasn't happy about it, but I think it was a good thing for him to experience. He was never disruptive, or had any fits or anything, and both children seem to be doing ok now.
+ I am told that when I attended my grandfather's funeral, I asked my mother why his spirit wasn't rising up. I think I was 6. I don't remember the funeral at all, though I do remember visiting him in the hospital, as well as numerous visits to his house when he was healthy.
Thanks I really appreciate it. I am going to talk to him this weekend I think I will let him decide what he wants to do He is a big boy now Rocket River
