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Airplane II Quotes

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by codell, Aug 13, 2008.

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  1. codell

    codell Member

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    Nothing beats the original, but the sequel has quite the laughs:

    Striker: I got a piece of metal. It's a bobby pin.
    Murdock: A bobby pin? What the hell is the man doing with a bobby pin?



    Witness: Striker was the squadron leader. He brought us in real low. But he couldn't handle it.
    Prosecutor: Buddy couldn't handle it? Was Buddy one of your crew?
    Witness: Right. Buddy was the bombardier. But it was Striker who couldn't handle it, and he went to pieces.
    Prosecutor: *Andy* went to pieces?
    Witness: No. Andy was the navigator. He was all right. Buddy went to pieces. It was awful how he came unglued.
    Prosecutor: *Howie* came unglued?
    Witness: Oh, no. Howie was a rock, the best tailgunner in the outfit. Buddy came unglued.
    Prosecutor: And he bailed out?
    Witness: No. Andy hung tough. Buddy bailed out. How he survived, it was a miracle.
    Prosecutor: Then Howie survived?
    Witness: No, 'fraid not. We lost Howie the next day.



    Prosecutor: Dr. Stone, would you give the court your impression of Mr. Striker?
    Dr. Stone: I'm sorry, I don't do impressions... my training is in psychiatry.


    Jimmy: Dad never slaps me around at home, must be his coffee.
    Jimmy's Mom: No, I've been serving him decafe. Maybe he's just an *******.




    Mr. Hammen: And how about the time we hopped in the family car and drove all the way to Woodstock?
    Mrs. Hammen: Oh, that was a time. You got hold of that bad acid and didn't come down for two weeks, you kept telling everyone that you were Jesus Christ and then you jumped off a roof 'cause you thought you could fly!
    Mr. Hammen: What a bummer.
    Mrs. Hammen: No ****.




    ROC: Voice interface.
    Elaine Dickinson: There's an overheat in the core. Please analyze problem.
    ROC: There is no apparent overheat.
    Elaine Dickinson: Yes, there is, ROC. We read a core overheat. Repeat analysis.
    ROC: Analysis confirmed. All systems compute positive.
    Elaine Dickinson: Well, not from where I'm sitting, they don't!
    ROC: Look, Elaine. Cut the "not from where I'm sitting" ****. It must be a human error.
    [Elaine turns to the captain]
    Elaine Dickinson: Captain, I think we have a computer foul-up!
    Capt. Oveur: I see.
    Elaine Dickinson: Well, what do you recommend, Captain?
    Capt. Oveur: Maybe you'd better run it through the computer.
    Elaine Dickinson: But sir, I already have!
    Capt. Oveur: Good!





    Simon: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet your captain, Captain Oveur.
    Clarence Oveur: Gentlemen, welcome aboard.
    Simon: Captain, your navigator, Mr. Unger, and your first officer, Mr. Dunn.
    Clarence Oveur: Unger.
    Unger: Oveur.
    Dunn: Oveur.
    Clarence Oveur: Dunn. Gentlemen, let's get to work.
    Simon: Unger, didn't you serve under Oveur in the Air Force?
    Unger: Not directly. Technically, Dunn was under Oveur and I was under Dunn.
    Dunn: Yep.
    Simon: So, Dunn, you were under Oveur and over Unger.
    Unger: Yep.
    Clarence Oveur: That's right. Dunn was over Unger and I was over Dunn.
    Unger: So, you see, both Dunn and I were under Oveur, even though I was under Dunn.
    Clarence Oveur: Dunn was over Unger, and I was over Dunn.
     
    #1 codell, Aug 13, 2008
  2. TMac640

    TMac640 Contributing Member

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    The court scene with the Jive guy's gotta be in there too. Quotes are inaccurate. The video is the only thing that can do it justice :D


    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GfzHjoRBbVA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GfzHjoRBbVA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
     
    #2 TMac640, Aug 13, 2008
  3. HayesStreet

    HayesStreet Member

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    ssshhtt.

    ssshhtt.
     
    #3 HayesStreet, Aug 13, 2008
  4. ClutchCityReturns

    ClutchCityReturns Member

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    That is awesome :D
     
    #4 ClutchCityReturns, Aug 13, 2008
  5. droxford

    droxford Member

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    over Macho Grande?
     
    #5 droxford, Aug 13, 2008
  6. Cannonball

    Cannonball Member

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    No, I don't thing I'll ever get over Macho Grande.
     
    #6 Cannonball, Aug 13, 2008
  7. The_Yoyo

    The_Yoyo Member

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    i dont know how but i havent seen the sequel yet and the original has always been one of my favorite comedies....seeing these quotes is making me want to go rent it tonight.
     
    #7 The_Yoyo, Aug 13, 2008
  8. SwoLy-D

    SwoLy-D Member

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    - Yes, this is mission control. Identify yourself and give me your position.
    - My name is Striker, I'm sitting down and facing front. [now over the radio] Why did you wanna know that?
    - [to self, while snapping fingers] Striker... striker, striker, striker, striker, striker striker, [ to man standing next to a woman ] STRIKER!!
    [the man says "mmm-kay" to himself and strikes the woman on the face and she falls]
    ------------

    :D
    First Woman in Line: Where is the passenger processing lounge for the lunar shuttle?
    Information Agent: Concourse lounge C, fourth level.
    First Woman in Line: Thank you.
    Information Agent: Next?
    First Woman in Line: How long is my parking permit good for?
    Information Agent: Two hours.
    First Woman in Line: Thank you?
    Information Agent: Yes, next.
    Next Man: What's the fastest animal on Earth?
    Information Agent: The cheetah. Next?
    Female Passenger #3: Should I fake my orgasms?
    Information Agent: Yes.
    Female Passenger #3: Thank you.
    Information Agent: Next?
    ------------------------

    [I don't ever know WTF Murdock is saying on the radio phone, but behind him there's an exchange of pot for money. We can only see their torso, no faces, just the hands exchanging stuff. The guy on the right takes the pot. The other guy asks for the money with his hands. The guy on the right punches him on the stomach and takes off with the pot]

    :D
    ------------------------

    the "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit" segments always have me cracking up, too. :D
    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CwyrGwM4a7M&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CwyrGwM4a7M&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

    ------------------------
    And from Airplane:
    Roger Murdock: Denver Radio. Climbing to cruise at 42,000. We'll report again over at Lincoln.
    Kid: Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul Jabbar! You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers!
    Roger Murdock: I'm sorry, son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock, I'm the copilot.
    [a beat]
    Kid: You ARE Kareem! I've seen you play! My dad's got season tickets!
    Roger Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now, joy. Right, Clarence? [to Over]
    Clarence Over: Nah, he's not bothering anybody. Let him stay here.
    Roger Murdock: [to the kid] Allright, but just remember: My name is Roger Murdock, I'm an airline Pilot.
    Kid: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says lots of times you don't really run down court. And that you don't really try... 'cept during the playoffs.
    Roger Murdock: 'the hell I don't! [grabs the kid by the suit] Listen, kid. I've been hearing that crap ever since I was in UCLA. I'm out there bustin' my buns every night... tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes! :mad:

    :D
     
    #8 SwoLy-D, Aug 13, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2008
  9. TheFreak

    TheFreak Member

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    One of the things that made Airplane so cool was they showed boobs. They stopped doing that in PG movies a long time ago.
     
    #9 TheFreak, Aug 13, 2008
  10. droxford

    droxford Member

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    Some slightly-off-color dialogue:

    [Striker] Simon was a fool to eject now.
    [Elaine] You mean ... ?
    [Striker] That's right...... premature ejection.


    [Striker] Elaine, we're going to have to blow the computer.
    [Elaine] ...... blow Roc?
    [Roc[ {big smile}

    &nbsp;
     
    #10 droxford, Aug 13, 2008
  11. count_dough-ku

    count_dough-ku Member

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    "Ain't no thang!"


    Elaine: "We had the kind of relationship where we laughed and laughed and laughed all the time. Do you know what it's like to laugh like that?"
    Judge(played by Raymond Burr): "Yes. Yes, I do."


    :D
     
    #11 count_dough-ku, Aug 13, 2008
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