Local NBA TV Broadcast Crews ranked! Where do Bullard, Worrell and Drexler rank around the league

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30. Cleveland Cavaliers
Play-by-play: Fred McLeod
Color: Austin Carr
Sideline: Allie Clifton

Best compared to having someone slowly bore through your ear with a drill without the eventual relief of death, McLeod and Carr yell like two idiots in the cheap seats who've been drinking since noon.

Dion Waiters hit three three-pointers in a row in a meaningless game in December, and these fools bellowed like Cleveland had finally won its first NBA title. In fact, almost every Cavs basket is called that way - on average about 40 a night.

When he’s not braying like a jackass, the aptly name McLeod is smarmy like a local TV weatherman. He’s a strong candidate to go into the Hall next year.

Carr was an absolute Hall lock. He’s so bad Cleveland leapfrogged San Antonio with it’s two charter members to claim last spot.

I don’t know what Carr’s first language is, but it’s not English. He has almost as many irritating catchphrases as Dick Vitale. Among the gems:

“He got him a bird,” when a Cavs player gets an opponent to bite on a pump-fake
“Mouse in da house,” when a Cavs player is being guarded by a much smaller defender
“Dere's a breeze in da building,” when an opponent shoots and air ball
His analysis is even more nonsensical. I’d like to share with you his theory of how to stop Steph Curry, but I stopped transcribing it because the inanity combined with Ebonics made my brain ache.

Worse, he’s an especially irritating homer, who taunts the opposition from press row. (For examples, check out his Hall of Shame bio). You can't watch a Cavs game without cheering for the other team - just to shut him up.

Clifton is hot and she makes decent points, but saddled with these two dickheads, she could be naked, and this would still be the worst crew in the league.


29. San Antonio Spurs
Play-by-play: Bill Land
Color: Sean Elliott
Sideline: Andrew Monaco

These pricks are the like the two old guys in the balcony on the Muppet Show - heckling, chortling and snorting at their own bad jokes. It’s an insult to high school broadcasts to call this a high school level broadcast.

Both charter Hall members, Elliott and Land are both embarrassing homers who'll rip the opposition, but have nary a bad word to say about "our guys.”

With Elliott, any call against the opponent is a good call; any call against the Spurs is not. Opponents “hack and whack;" but the Spurs “play tough D.”

Land is radio announcer on TV who tells you exactly what you can see, and adds nothing other than homer-ism yowled in his tinny voice.

The quintessential Land-Elliott call: against New Orleans, with 0.7 seconds left, the Pelicans' Omer Asik tipped a ball thrown for Tim Duncan into his own basket, tying the game. It was clear as day the unfortunate Asik put it into his own net.

Not once did Land and Elliott acknowledge it was Asik who tipped the ball in the hoop. Throughout OT, they gushed about Duncan's greatness, and what a tribute the basket was to how he never gives up. Duncan is an outstanding player, but he didn’t come within six inches of that ball.

Each takes a turn trying to jerk-off the Spurs bench. The Spurs are a good team - up there with the all time best. But, listening to these two dickheads you’d think it was a team of Gods playing against guys from the Y. Classic example from Elliott, “Draymond Green has made a name for himself defending against Blake Griffin - but Borris Diaw is a big cut above that.”

Blake Griffin is a five time all-star and Borris Diaw is a zero time all-star, who was recently named one of the worst starters ever on a championship team, but in Elliott’s world I’m sure that just because the NBA can’t fill the all-star team only with Spurs.

It doesn’t matter what Monaco says because Land and Elliot are such dickheads, I usually have the TV on mute by the time he comes on.

You'd think having won five championships this stuff wouldn't play in San Antonio, but perhaps being Houston and Dallas's little brother means the small town chip will always be there.

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2. Minnesota Timberwolves
Play-by-play: Dave Benz
Color: Jim Petersen
Sideline: Marney Gellner

No crew works harder to tell you who’s winning and why, and provides hard data to back it up.

Benz gives you the significance of the action rather than just describing what you can see. He’s the best in the biz at calling who sets-up screens. Sounds arcane. But if you think about it, that’s such a crucial part of the game, and you learn which players are good at it.

These guys play it straight with no homer-ism at all. The Wolves are such a bad team, that it’s hard to build drama without looking foolish. Benz avoided that, but he also didn’t diminish the games, and kept in mind that Minnesota has a young team that might be good in two years. If I’m a Wolves’ fan - that’s what I want.

The weaknesses: his voice will always limit him, and he could do a better job setting up calls.

Petersen is rivaled only by King in breaking-down a game in plain English, ”Focus on (Steph) Curry's chest. That’s the best way to avoid falling for his head and shoulder fakes, which are how he creates so many of his shots.”

He always uses data very well. His scouting report on Orlando’s Rookie-of-the-Year candidate Elfrid Payton, “Payton attacks the rim - 76% of shots come within 10 feet of basket. And, he’s dishing off that penetration too - averaging 6-and-a-half assists per game, which is 13th best in the league.”

In that game, he did a halftime analysis that pointed-out:

both teams had 11 turnovers, but Orlando had scored 15 points off those to 6 by Minnesota.
Orlando was ahead 9-2 in offensive rebounds, and had scored 13 points off those extra chances
the Wolves went to the free throw line six more times than Orlando.
he then added the officials will, “Start to even the calls out.”
Every NBA analyst should be made to do this.

Gellner is the weak link. She’s not the best looking sideline prowler, her reports sound like team provided propaganda, and her questions are inane, “Coach, they have a 25-14 lead in rebounding. That must be a concern?”

No ****, sweetheart. If you’re going to ask flat questions, at least push out your sweater nicely.


1. Houston Rockets
Play-by-play: Bill Worrell
Color: Clyde Drexler and Matt Bullard

This crew comes closest to having it all: they enhance the pictures, build the drama, provide perspective backed by credibility and stats, and are entertaining.

Worrell is solid and personable, and the more you listen to him, the more his act grows on you. He definitely knows both teams, and can differentiate between big and routine games. He has that Vin Scully-style “It’s a great day for basketball” optimism, and gives the stakes for both teams.

He compliments what you can see, “That pass might work against another defender, but you can’t throw it over Kawhi Leonard’s head. His arms are too long.”

He also has a great feel for the game. When Houston surged out to a 13-point first-quarter lead over San Antonio, “Great start by the Rockets. But, one thing about the NBA, you can make up a big lead if it happens early.”

That ended-up being prescient when the Spurs rallied. Worrell used stats nicely to point out why, “San Antonio’s bench has 21 points tonight compared to 4 for the Rockets and that’s got the Spurs right back in this game. “

He’s also not afraid to rip the Rockets, “If (Patrick) Beverly doesn’t start making that shot, it’s going to be a long night.”

He balances the broadcast in the right way for a local crew, “Well, we say it’s not a flagrant on James (Harden) but you can be sure down on the Dallas broadcast they’re saying it’s flagrant. So, we’ll see what the officials say.”

Drexler is likable, and has the credibility of a living legend, though he could use a broadcasting course. He’s a homer - mostly when it comes to officials calls; but, because Worrell works so hard to be neutral - it’s not jarring. And, he definitely gives credit to the other team, “The Spurs don’t care who scores. They got five guys who average double figures, and only one guy who averages over thirty minutes a game. Year after year.”

Bullard is solid, and quantifies as well as any color man:

“James has shot 500 free throws this year. But, to put that in perspective, Michael Jordan shot 879 in 1987.”
“The Spurs held Russell Westbrook to 17 points and then they held James to 22. Two guys who average over 30 points a game. Gives you an idea of how good their defense has been in the last month.”
On road games, he’s the only color guy. On home games, he defers to Drexler rather than trying to talk over him, and it makes the chemistry work.

Here’s how it all comes together:
Bullard: “What the Rockets have learned since Tuesday, when the Spurs are overplaying you on the wing - cut back-door. We’ve seen several Rockets go back-door tonight, and it’s lead to about 15 points.”
Drexler: ”Especially with Duncan out there. He’s a world-class shot blocker.”

After another Manu Ginobli dive:
Drexler: “Ginobli is a world-class flopper.”
Worrell: “It puts the officials in a bad spot. They’re trying to watch out of their peripheral vision because there’s so much going on. But, they see a guy fall, and it’s their instinct to call it.”
Bullard: “Absolutely. It’s the league head office that should be fining these guys.”

When a behind-the-back-pass hit Dwight Howard in the numbers, and bounced out of bounds:
Bullard: “That’s two possessions in a row T. Jones to Dwight Howard doesn’t work out. T. gets those turnovers, but Dwight Howard has got to catch those balls.”
Drexler: “That was a beautiful behind-the-back pass from T. Should have been an easy two.”
Worrell: “Although, didn’t John Wooden say, 'the best pass is a completed pass?'”
Bullard: “Yes. But when it hits you in the numbers, you’ve got to catch it.”

When Bullard and Drexler started lamenting the lack of physicality under the hoop, and complaining that the refs “need to let them play,” Worrell rightly pointed-out, “That’s not how they referee the game anymore, fellas. The rules have been changed to allow more offense.”

Compare that ESPN’s Hall of Shame duo of Jackson and Van Gundy who attempt to generate faux controversy too often by talking about anything but the game they are watching.

Here’s the best compliment I can give a crew: I’m not a Rockets’ fan, and have no ties to the Houston area - but, I look forward to the games they call, and I’m pissed if a so-called national crew is doing the game instead.