Sounds like the dog is "resource guarding". I suggest ya'll read a couple of books by Jean Donaldson. Especially, "Mine!". and also, "The Culture Clash" Very insightful and helpful books. My dog is a reformed resource guarder - in regards to food and bones at least. Not so much if she has gotten comfortable on the couch - or my bed. I'll get a few "grrrrrrrs" if I ask her to move. Anymore I don't ask or make a deal of it. I just go over and start to sit down where she is. She moves or else she will get sat on. Or I'll get my butt bitten. She understands that I am claiming the space - in a non confrontational and nonchalant way. No - I have never sat on her (she moves) and no she has not bitten my butt.
So many issues here. Dog or not, your relationship is doomed. You're both idiots. Unfortunately, you are very different types of idiots so things are bound to go bad.
He is an idiot if he breaks up an engagement over this. Y'all need to realize that the OP's intention wasn't really to ask for dog advice. The OP's intention was to ask for fiance advice. I've been saying this since my first post in this thread. And I tried to recorrect the flow of the thread to be about relationships .... like several times. Why does heypartner have to tell y'all these things: Y'all need to recognize when a cfnetter is asking for his help on a relationship and couching it in other terms.
This. How some of you are so sensitive to the dog is amazing. The OP has kids who are idk....a lot more important than some chick's pet. Her pet is biting the kids. The kids don't need to be tolerant of the dog. He's not an idiot if he breaks up his engagement over this. What if the kids don't even like the dog or want it around? That would be pretty unfair of the OP to not put his children first when his fiancee is clearly putting her dog before her soon to be children. It's as simple as that. I actually commend the OP for putting his kids above everything else and having an issue with this. Amazing logic from all involved who say he's the one who needs to think more clearly. I feel like she's the one at fault here and it's on her to resolve the situation either by training the dog so it doesn't bite people or simply getting rid of it. I wouldn't want to be with someone who refused to make that sacrifice for me.
CFNET appears determined to break up this engagement Are you married. Have you ever been married OP is divorced with kids. So, your advice it to tell OP to push the issue on her and pressure her, and not take the problem on his own. You are telling OP to: not try to be a real man, who women love, who solve problems. But just break up the engagement and explain it to your kids, and kick out the fiance and go find a new one. I can't even begin how to explain over the internet how extremely bad advice the OP is getting to drop his fiance and relationship over a pet. Anyone in this thread who suggested dumping the fiance over a pet problem without trying has never been married before. Do NOT take their advice.
The manly way to solve the problem is to make the woman realize that she needs to let go of the dog if it's causing all these problems. He has no ties to the dog, whereas his children should be sole focus...it's bothered him enough to make a thread about it. Dogs are cool but if the chick is selfish enough to let it ruin the relationship then the OP can do better.
So, like I said to the post that responded to. Are you engaged Are you married Have you ever been married Answer me those questions, so we can assess your competency to give the OP advice. Or are you going to freak out on me again in this thread like a stupid little b****.
Eh, sounds like you're just going the other way. A dog is an animal descendant from a wolf, not an inanimate object. Kids need to know how to behave around it. If you do certain things you could get bitten, that's how it goes. There's isn't enough information given to know if the dog is poorly behaved or the kids are agitating the dog.
He's not an animal person, but gets involved with a woman who loves her dog to death...big mistake. Expecting that woman to give up her dog for him and his kids. Bigger mistake. This is something that should have been addressed before they moved in together. She's at fault too, of neither tried to address it.
I've been married for 34 years. My advice to the OP would be to sit down with his fiancé and if they cannot come to an understanding about an issue as important as this, then it would be best for them to not get married. Also, regardless of a dog's training, if it is going to bite my children in the face, regardless of whose fault it is, I will take the kid's side. Even if the kids are taught to allow the dog space while it is eating (or whatever behavior they are disturbing), there is no guarantee they won't accidentally do something to cause the dog to bite them in the face (and perhaps take out an eye or worse) again. I agree with you regarding the kid jumping the fence. Although, I have heard (and I suspect a lawyer could provide better input then my anecdotal evidence) that, legally, it may be disadvantageous to post 'beware of dog' signs, because you are acknowledging you have a dangerous dog.
I've been married for almost 20 years myself with a now grown daughter. I agree with what bobrek said. I will train my kid(s) to respect the dogs and that they are animal and territorial ... but if my kid(s) make a mistake and the dogs bite them, those dogs are either have be seriously trained or they are gone. BTW, heypartner, how many children do you have?
i own/love dogs and dont have kids, but that dog needs to go now...honestly, the dog should have been kicked out of the house after it bit the first kid. i think you are showing an incredible degree of patience here and i dont think there are too many parents who would have allowed it to go this far. its not about "blame" or whose fault it is...that is not relevant - you have little kids and an aggressive dog - its a bad mix and the longer that dog is in the house the more likely something really bad is going to happen. but if you do want to blame someone i would place it entirely on your fiance for failing to properly train her dog. and if she is putting her face-biting dog over the safety of your kids then maybe she shouldnt be your fiance anymore.
Our family has always taken in dogs from the Humane Society. Many of these dogs came from horribly abusive owners, and showed early signs of aggression. Yet only once did any of our canines bite a family member, which happened to be my younger sister on the dog's first night with us. The dog in question was immediately bitten back my father in an attempt to establish dominance, and to her credit she never bit again. I think your fiance's pooch has most likely been babied and coddled by said fiance. This can lead to detrimental behavior in the hound. You can not allow this behavior to continue, and need to address it on a variety of fronts. You're pack leader now Mr. Brojangles. First and foremost control the dog's feeding, read up on useful tricks, and above all else exercise the hell out of it. And I mean YOU and not her You're pack leader after all in the dog's mind. Tire the pup out from over exercise, and teach the old dog a few new tricks. Also, and with you present, test the dogs patience in a smart and sensible manner to broaden its boundaries. Remember, there are no bad dogs, but there's plenty of bad owners. Once the dog knows its role in the family it'll be nothing but good times.
Are you married? Is/was your marriage successful? Have all your relationships been successful? Do you have children? Have you ever been bit in the face by a dog? Have your children ever been bit in the face by a dog? Why ask ridiculous questions? I think your definition of being a real man is warped and deluded. Being a real man means looking out for your kids first and foremost. It's not about pushing the issue onto her. The issue IS hers. If he takes the problem on his own, from my experience it will only lead to more issues. The onus is on her to either train the dog properly so it wont bite her new 7 and 9 year old children, or simply get rid of it. I can't imagine how embarrassed I would be if I was with a girl who had children and my dog bit her children in the face. I don't think I would be able to live it down, much less defend the dog. The biased dog lovers in here are the ones giving the bad advice. Sometimes there are compatibility issues with things such as pets. This seems to be one of those cases. He does not need to kick his fiancee out, but she should be more understanding of this. It is up to her to do something about it. Not the OP. Furthermore, there is a bigger issue here that you seem to be neglecting out of your bias towards dogs. The fiancee seems to be less concerned with her soon to be children than her dog. Who knows what else she'll give preference to over the OP's children in the future. That is a scary thought. Who wants the future step-mother of their children to be that way? Society is honestly stupid as hell in its animal adoration. I've had lots of pets and they've been great but the lengths people go to defend animals is probably one of the dumbest and saddest things in modern society. At the end of the day, like cheke64 said, humans>>>>>>>>>>>animals. OP: Do not take the advice of biased dog lovers who don't understand that children are more important than pets.
