Text a girl and ask if you can "tap that"

Just texted my friend Erin and just straight up asked her:

Me: Can I tap that?
Her: If you were here maybe
Me: Never at the right place at the right time, story of my life
Her: Lmao ditto

Unfortunately, she's out of town and probably a bit tipsy at the moment, but so far I'm 2 for 3. This isn't turning out as bad as I thought. Whoever tried it with facebook, I give you props. That's definitely a creative way to go about it. I'll have to give that a try soon.

 

I am going to try out some “hypothetical” conversations:

Goldbricker: sup girl
Amfootball: Who is this?
Goldbricker: It’s moestavern19 – you know from the Houston Rockets clutchfans BBS?
Amfootball: Oh yeah, you’re the prick who ran me off from the site…
Goldbricker: *pause*…you doing alright?
Amfootball: Yes, things have been going well; I am really going places with my career. And how about you – how are things with you?
Goldbricker: Well I got me a job that is paying the bills but I am still working on being a writer and I got married recently – married a girl that I met off Clutchfans.
Amfootball: Wow, really??!! That’s great. Would she be mad if she knew you were talking to me now?
Goldbricker: Nah, she’s cool about things like that.
*pause*
Goldbricker: So, um, when are you going to let me tap that?
Amfootball: Excuse me – tap what??
Goldbricker: You know, tap that….that?
Amfootball: Why you disgusting piece of vermin, you filthy pig! I am going to make sure that your wife knows that you asked me this!!
Amfootball has disconnected from yahoo messenger
Goldbricker: Calm down, cockflounder – it was just a joke…cockflounder?? You there??

conversation that might have taken place 4 or 5 years ago

Jeff: Hi
Isabel: Hi
Jeff: So, what have you been up to?
Isabel: Oh nothing much – teaching some chemistry classes, practicing for my band, and trying to get Ferdinand out of my life as much as possible. How about you?
Jeff: Well, I am trying to keep the BBS under control as much as possible with Clutch as well as playing with my band, “Orange Is In”.
Isabel: Yea, I have heard some clips of your band – y’all sound awesome!
Jeff: Thanks…by the way, have a question for you.
Isabel: ??
Jeff: When are you going to let me tap that?
Isabel: !!...oh man, that’s funny but weird at the same time.
Jeff: Well, I only asked because the whole damn BBS wants us to get together
Isabel: Oh, I see and how do you feel about that – I mean us?
Jeff: Well, I don’t really know you and vice versa and I would feel that if we did get together, our whole relationship would constantly be scrutinized by the BBS.
Isabel: Yea, I know what you mean. Besides, who has ever heard of 2 people coming together romantically through a basketball BBS?
Jeff: Yea, the odds of that happening is probably so small, it wouldn’t be worth trying, to tell you the truth.


Elvis Costello: dimsie, my sweet but confrontational wife – where are you?
Dimsie: I’m right here, E – what is it?
Elvis Costello: Well, I just got done reading the BBS using my BM, er “other account” and wanted to ask you something.
Dimsie: ??
Elvis Costello: When are you going to let me tap that?
Dimsie: You silly wanker!! Tap that?? What a ridiculous expression!!
Elvis Costello: Well, that is the way you are supposed to say it.
Dimsie: Well that is bloody stupid then but sure honey, you can “tap that” any time you want, *ggl*
Elvis Costello: Okay then.
Dimsie: Just pick some other music for us to **** to other than Elvis Costello, okay?
Elvis Costello: Okay, we can **** to either Nick Lowe, Joe Jackson, or Graham Parker – your call.
Dimsie: …….

Conversation that took place around December of 2001

Manny Ramirez: Yo, hand where you at?
Manny’s Right Hand aka MRH: I’m right here, where I’m always.
Manny Ramirez: You feeling okay today?
MRH: Well, I have done a lot of typing today due to your job and the 30 plus posts that you put on the Clutchfans BBS today but other than that, I’m good.
Manny Ramirez: Well, I had a question for you.
MRH: Shoot.
Manny Ramirez: Are you going to let me tap that?
MRH: Are you on drugs?? Since when have you have to ask me that?
Manny Ramirez: Eh, I don’t know – saw it somewhere on-line.
MRH: Well, of course you can tap that but make sure you use lubrication or some Vaseline this time. You know that Mr. Happy Sunshine gets cranky when he gets a blister or is chafed.
Manny Ramirez: I know, I know don’t remind me.
MRH: Because you know the saying – if Mr. Happy Sunshine isn’t happy, then no one is happy.
Manny Ramirez: You are sorta killing the moment for me, hand.

 

You sir are a genius.

 

haha...funny stuff Manny.

 

OK, well I finally tried this last night with one of my wife’s friends. Kind of a weird variation, though. Wife was in the other room and got a text from her friend. I picked up her phone and started texting back, so her friend thought she was talking to my wife.

Her: Ronnie better go home tonight! (Big Brother)
Me: don’t tell me, I’m dvr’ing it!
Her: ok. Have you seen your room yet? (her school is being remodeled this summer)
Me: not yet. But I do have a question for you…
Her: what.
Me: when are you gonna let “ima” tap that?
Her: huh??
Me: WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LET “IMA” TAP THAT??
Her: uh…does that mean sex?
Me: I’ll give you 2 guesses and the 1st one don’t count…
Her: Hi ima…..
Me: DAMMIT!!

Luckily, the friend is cool. I always text nasty stuff to them with my wife’s phone. So often that they all pretty much know when it’s me…

 

ok...i had to get in on this. It's my girlfriend.

Me: What's going on?
Her: Just ate some waffles. Gathering up the stuff I need to take with me today.
Me: Got a question...
Herkay
(ignore her call)
Me: When are you gonna let me tap that?
Her: WHAT?!
(ignore her call)
Me: You know...tappy tap
Her: Omg. I can't believe you just asked me that.
Me: Tappa tappa tappa...?
(Silence)

 

An ex-coworker once said to a bunch of us dudes... "Well, it's not like I can get pregnant AGAIN, duh." Yeah, we didn't try it.

 

LOL Noo it was just playful talk i gave her. You know, I be on top and then she'll be on top.

 

me: What's up bro? You at work?
him: yeah what's up?
me: I need some more reggie miller highlights
him: how much?
me: halfazone
him: cool
me: when can I tap that?
him: stop it man
me: so is that a no?
him: shop is closed
me: do you have the internet?
him: no, leave me alone

Should have resisted the urge

 

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to PointForward again.

 

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ima_drummer2k again.

 

LOL... this one of the better 'real' ones IMO.

 

So I got curious and tried it myself. Not going to type out the transcript but here are my two replies.

"Never"

"Excuse me"

lol
I have got some lame women on my phone!

 

me: i got a quick question for ya
sabina: wats up?
me: when you gonna let me tap that?
sabina: ahahahahaha in ur dreams
me: Great. How about this sunday at 8?



me: i gotta quick question for ya
otherchick: okay?
me: great. friday at 7 works for me!
otherchick: what?!
me: what i'm talking about tappin' that ass playa!
otherchick: WTF?


i sorta forgot the question on the second round, haha.

 

Third Try

"Excuse me?"

WTF I know I do not have any ladies on my phone, as if any of them were virgins, lol.

 

Seriously, what is wrong with these chicks? We've all got important work to accomplish here!

 

Premature Etextulation

 

4th

"What the hell? Come again?"

It killed it when I had to explain it to her.

 

To the OP:
<br>
Just letting you know dude, your moniker is very confusing because you're BleedsRocketsRed, but there is another poster named BleedRocketsRed.
<br>
http://bbs.clutchfans.net/member.php?userid=30963
<br>
http://bbs.clutchfans.net/member.php?u=43195

 

ok, just did it to a friend. Looks like played along or maybe she is serious??


Me: Whats up
Her: Hey Hey
Me: quick question
Her: yesss??
Me: when u gonna let me tap that??
Her: lol, youre so stupid
Me: is that a yes??
Her: u know it!
Me: hell yeah, pick up at 8
Her: where we going?
Me: to a hotel, where else..
Her: lol