Prom advice

In his office? Where's the prom at?

 

I wouldn't want my mom at prom, but she can work the after party at school. But in your case, I would allow your mom to go because really the chaparones are in the background working. You might see her a few times and that won't be bad. She is not going to be the only parent there. Our prom is the 11th and I am all set.

 

At least it wouldnt suck as bad as if she wanted to go see what you were doing after prom.

 

Oh yea on a side note the administration at my school said before hand that and I quote "I dont want any of you coming high, on anything"

Our Prom was on 4/20

 

If she keeps on persisting, just tell her that her going is making you so uncomfortable that you won't go.

If she calls your bluff, oh well. I didn't go to my prom and I'm still alive.

 

That's why you didn't post in a year.

 

Make a deal with your mom. Tell her you would rather spend all day with her on graduation day instead of a couple of hours at the prom. Add in no other parents are going.

 

If you want directions to Diseased Monkey's prom, its 2001 Post Oak Blvd. Double Tree Hotel. First Floor.

I think it's tonight? No wait, It was yesterday I think nevermind. Actually, I don't even know.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

sorry. i havent laughed that hard in a while.

dude, juss tell your mom that ull take her somewhere and you can spend the day with her. by all means go to the prom...u should. but not with your mom there...that would suck.

man, good luck...

 

But if you do decide not to go, don't worry- the graduation party(ies) are where the real action is!

 

I think it sounds like it sucks as much as it really does. The other suggestions sound good - offer to spend some time with her somewhere other than prom. Seems to me as though she should be understanding enough to let it go... and however that turns out, it's probably better than going to your prom and being miserable.

 

How big is your school? For my school, it wasn't a big deal because it was so small that some parents were always involved in various functions. If your school is really big, maybe it won't matter because they won't be visible.

Maybe, just maybe you're making this into something bigger than what it is. I don't know; it's just speculation. Have you mentioned this to a couple close friends who will give you their thoughts without teasing you too much? If they don't think it's too bad, maybe it isn't.

Good luck to you. Regardless of what happens, just try to have fun.

 

My $.02:

Clearly, your mother is attempting to exert an influence on you that has to do with something other than you. Basically, what you have to realise is that you're the one acting like a mature adult, and she's the one acting like a child, putting her personal feelings in front of yours on a night when you should be first.

Basically, tell her as much. Lay it out about how you realise that she wants to go for selfish reasons that have nothing to do with you, and (assuming that you mean it) tell her that if she goes, you won't. If she's still childish enough to try and go, then stay home. It'd be sad to have your prom ruined by your mother, but then one of the most important lessons of growing up is that most people have issues that effect the way they deal with you, yet have nothing to do with you.

 

Woah, okay, I don't do have a degree in family counseling or anything, but I like other people's suggestions in this thread a lot better than Ottamaton's. Even approaching this from a 'two adults' perspective, calling your mother out for being 'selfish' and playing hard ball hardly sounds like the most effective way to meet a desirable resolution. I won't contest Ottomaton's assertion that there may be more going on here than just you and prom, but that still seems excessively extreme. I can't tell how much you've discussed this with your mother. Ottomaton may be right about the importance of being honest and forthright about how you feel, but you want to do it in a mature way, one that's considerate of the other person's view. It sounds like you're already doing that, which is a good thing.

Ottomaton, those are just my thoughts. I'm sure you know where you're coming from.

 

b*stard!!! I'll kick your @ss!!!


...j/k


I still think that unless you are very clear with your mother that her going to the prom )which is supposed to be 'your' night), will make the event less enjoyable for you, she can't quite have any real sense of how much it seems to bother you.

Specifically, I'd suggest approaching her with specific examples of how it might make you feel. For instance if yousay something like, "Mom, I appreciate that you'd really like to come to my prom, and I understand that you believe that I gave you tacit approval to do so, but I think that if you were to do so, it would make me very uncomfortable, and would make the evening much less enjoyable for me on an evening that is supposed to be a celebration of my impending HS graduation."

Obviously, your mother can hardly dismiss your opinion of how youn feel (as opposed to 'Ma, you at the prom will make it suck.'). I think that people such as your mother tend to do things like this for selfish reasons, yet are able to rationalise it by assigning themselves with unselfish motives such as, "I want to be involved in my child's life." or, "I need to make sure that they're not all going to get drunk." I think that clearly deliniating the situation can only deprive her of her excuses.

I'm not telling you to aproach her in a confrontational manner but since you are approaching 'adulthood' I would suggest that it is somewhat important to start to move your relationship from the 'parent-child' model that parents seem to cling to for far to long, to more of the 'friend/mentor/advisor' role that parents take on for independent adults. As such, I think it is important to express your will to your mother, while at the same time retaining a respectful, receptive attitude to how she respond.

 

I think it depends on what your Mom wants to be doing at your prom. Is she going to be hovering around you? Or is she going to be keeping her distance? I wouldn't want my Mom coming up to me at my prom when I'm there to be with my date and friends. However, if she is a passive observer who may even be given a task to keep busy, then I could probably live with that. I don't think anyone would even know who she is unless I told them. But, if she wants to be in my face the whole time and dancing and stuff....forget that.

Typically speaking...most people live with their parents so Mom going to the prom would be out of the question. But, you only see your Mom 2 or 3 weeks a year and, to me, that is unbelievable. I'm not sure what the circumstances are surrounding that, like she lives on the east coast and you live on the west coast...or whatever. But, 2 or 3 weeks and listening to you talk it almost sounds like you are unphased by the amount of time you spend with your Mom and just want to live "your life". She's your blood and she gave birth to you. Your circumstances should be calling for you to spend more time with your Mom. Unless she's been the one to avoid you(which it doesn't sound like), I think she is just trying to be a part of a special event of your life because she has missed so much. I can't say I fault her for that. She needs to realize that you want to be worry-free at your prom and not have Mom watching my every move. I would try to strike a balance to where maybe she could go for a little bit and be a passive observer like I said. Then, she may need to leave and let you enjoy the night.

Your situation is unlike anyone's here...I'm sure. I think it would be truly selfish to just blow your mom off completely given the amount of time you see her in a year. It may be your night...but she doesn't have many more nights with you and how many of those are special nights? She's missing out and I feel bad for her.

If you can be guilt free by telling her no, then do so. Get your Dad to help out...he's the HS principal...ask him to help out with Mom at the prom and keep her busy and not being there like she's stalking her son the whole night. Given that your Dad is a HS principal, your situation is already tainted. I doubt Mom coming to the prom presents any more difficulties than you've already dealt with as far as my Dad is HS principal.

My two cents...