This is specifically for chievous minniefield, but FD Khan, Jeff, and others are welcome to answer to. I just got done watching "Swingers" and I'm glad that I watched it! I could identify with Mikey on trying to get a girl that you feel is interested in you to go out with you. Although, I sorta considered the "Trent" character to be obnoxious, it's mainly due to my personality not being like that. However, there were a lot of things in that movie that I found myself guilty of doing that Mikey would do. Now before I tell you on what I plan on doing, I want to give an update from what happened this past Monday. As mentioned in the other thread, "I Really F***ed Up..", I did explain to her about the email and she said not to worry about it..that it was no big deal. However, she never gave me her number, but she didn't say that she was uncomfortable or anything like that in giving it. So, of course, I didn't ask for her number then. I changed the subject and later said bye to her. I did see her later that afternoon (she had come by looking for this other guy...who is married) and we had a pretty good, casual conversation. Tuesday, I saw her, but I was too busy with this project I just finished to talk to her....I don't know if she even saw me. Wednesday, I made a point to talk to her because I was back over in that building that she worked in. Once again, a very good conversation but no asking of her number or for another lunch date. Today, I wasn't supposed to work but I had to anyway & once again, I barely got to see her, but I didn't talk to her because she had someone in her cubicle. Also, I had my glasses on and I hadn't shaved (so I was looking a little rough), but working 60 plus hours in a week can do that to you sometimes, I guess. It was funny though. As I walked off past her cubicle, I sorta snuck a glance over there at her & I could tell that she sorta stopped her conversation with this other woman because she saw me walk by. However, I kept walking. She had already told me on Monday that she was flying out tomorrow morning to go to Michigan (where she used to work) for some awards ceremony on Saturday night. It doesn't matter because I don't have to work tomorrow anyway. So, it won't be until Monday that I'll see her again and get a chance to talk to her. I'm really struggling right now to play this thing cool. Hell, that has always been my problem....probably the reason why I'm still single. I can't help but feel that I'm playing games with her, even though I didn't mean to. 2 different women that I know that are married have told me that since she didn't say anything about her number that she is waiting for me to ask again. As a matter of fact, one of them said that I had explained that I wanted to ask for her number in person and then I never asked her on Monday! Damn, I wish that she would have given me more of a sign. Here's what I'm going to do on Monday when I see her again. I'm going to go over in person and ask her about her weekend and then see if she would want to go to lunch with me sometime that week. Hopefully, she will say yes and then if things go well at this 2nd(hopeful) lunch date, I will ask for her number in person at the end of the lunch date. But here's my big question: will she still say yes? I'm afraid that not asking for her number when I had the chance plus waiting so long, although granted this past week was not a good one for me, to ask her to do something with me has turned her off toward me. Oh well...I guess I'll find out soon enough on Monday when she decides to go to lunch with me or not. Even then, I'll still may not know until after the lunch date is over, if it happens. Any advice or does what I propose doing sound good?
Manny, I know you didn't ask me, but my advice is to double-down. After all, you're the guy, behind the guy, behind the guy. Who's the big winner tonight? Mikey is! You're all growns up! Okay, I'm the *******.
lol...that was good, Freak. Maybe if I believe that I'm money, this situation wouldn't be so damn hard for me.
dont regret the things you do in life, regret what you didnt do...with that being said....go beat up cato!
first off, sorry it's taken me so long to get to this, Manny. second off, I'm no trent. I've got a little trent in me and a little mikey, but probably more mikey. that having been said, I think you've done the right thing by waiting. even though it's usually similar to taking medicine or worse, waiting is seldom the wrong thing to do. at this point, if you want to go ask for her number and a lunch date, I don't think that can be anything but a positive step forward. will she say yes? I don't know. I think, because she didn't volunteer her number during the e-mail conversation, there's at least a chance that she may not be interested. however, you will never know that unless you ask. and at this point, I don't think waiting any longer will turn her from uninterested to interested [IF she's uninterested]. if she's been interested all along, then she'll probably just be glad you asked and pumped about going to lunch. when you ask for her number, I think you should just be honest. and confident. girls always respect confidence [real confidence, not fake bravado, although some girls like that, too]. actually, as I think about it, what I would do is this: ask her on monday if she wants to have lunch again. tell her you had a good time when you went to lunch before and would love to do it again. if she says yes, then ask for her number at the lunch. if she says no, then what I would do would be to give her your number. if she doesn't call, she's not interested. if she calls, then there you are. that's how I see it. either way, I think it's good that you've waited this week like you have. I think it's impossible for you to look too anxious having waited a week. dating is brutal, man. I know. I'm single. I wish you the best of luck. let us all know how it turns out.
Chievous: I appreciate the encouraging words. I got some good news, I think, when I talked to an old friend of mine last night. This guy had gone to high school with me and got a degree in Mechanical Engineering from Tennessee Tech. When he got out of school, he got a job with the company I work for but it was in Michigan and not in Tennessee. After hoping and waiting to transfer from Michigan to Tennessee (he worked for my company for about 5 years), he finally quit and got another job in Nashville. He now lives in Murfreesboro and is engaged - he's getting married at the end of this May. He knew this girl (I sorta thought he would) because he was still up in Michigan when she was there. He told me that she was always nice to him (like she is with me) and that he had this strong feeling that she would have gone out with him if he had pursued it. However, since he was dating his fiance, he never went after her. But he told me that he thinks that I still have an excellent chance of getting her to go to lunch with me. If she says yes, then I'm going to do like you suggested & ask for her number before the lunch date is over. My friend feels that she is not getting any younger & is always looking for a man that could possibly become a father figure to her son. Another thing that I discovered was that when I was telling the story to one of my best friends' wife, she explained to me why this woman never said anything about her number. She said that I took the time to go over there in person and explained the situation. I told her that I would rather ask for her number in person than by email. Then, I didn't ask for it in person ! So, I sorta contradicted myself. It would have been great if she had said something, even if she said that she didn't feel comfortable about giving me her number. Apparently, she must have felt that I was still having second thoughts. I guess that is what scares me the most....that here it was, she was interested in me all this time & then within a week's time, she became disinterested in me. However, another saving grace for me is that I was working my ass off with that project and working crazy hours and she knew that. She probably felt that my mind was on that instead of her, which it was for the most part. I can't help but feel this crazy feeling that she might have become even more interested in me & is waiting for me to validate that I'm still interested in her. This, of course, begs the question: then why in the hell won't she call me at my extension or email me or see me in person and initiate something? If I knew the answer to that, then I'd probably not be asking about it on this BBS. However, when Monday comes, I will break the ice by asking her about her weekend. I will then tell her about mine. She had told me during the lunch date that she loved Stone Temple Pilots. Well, I got their debut CD, "Core", from Amazon.com this past Thursday. I'm amazed at how many good tracks are on that thing! So, that will be another thing I can talk to her about. Then I'll just ask her if she has any lunch plans this week. Hopefully, she'll say no she doesn't and that she would love to go with me. If she turns me down, then I at least can move on.
Manny, man, don't sweat it. You're money and you don't even know it. We have faith in you. We don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie where everyone is really hoping for him. We want you to be the guy in the rated R movie where no one is to sure about him. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna make Wayne Gretzky's head bleed for super fan #99 over here.
is he brown? Mikey, is he brown? hey, Manny, it sounds pretty good to me. the only thing I'll add is that I don't think there's any chance that she WAS interested all the way up until you didn't ask her for her number in person and now she ISN'T interested in you. that just wouldn't be realistic. put yourself in her shoes. if you were interested in her, and you thought she was interested in you, but then she didn't ask for your number or call you or whatever. . . would that make you any less interested in her? we still don't know what she thinks about anything, but I don't think you should worry and beat yourself up about her maybe liking you all the way until the e-mail episode. that's in the past. give it your best shot on Monday. good luck.
