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The Greatest Corporate BS Speak

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Buck Turgidson, Jan 14, 2022.

  1. desihooper

    desihooper Contributing Member
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    Both are fun follows, they collaborated on a YouTube series, Sales Are Dope. Pretty easy series to binge. Shoutout to all those in Sales and on the Q4 grind!!
     
  2. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    Show is great. Very much in the same vein of Silicon Valley. Deserves it's own thread.
     
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  3. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    How to fire 50 people:

    https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/peacock-marketing-department-layoffs-1235643556/amp/


    Hi Everyone,

    I’m reaching out today to share an update on the Peacock Marketing organization. Given Peacock’s growth trajectory and the shifting landscape around us, we’ve spent a lot of time over the past year thinking about what we can do as a team to better support the business. Through that process, we recognized an opportunity to reimagine the way we work to drive the next phase of Peacock’s growth. Today we’re announcing an evolved Marketing structure that will enable us to work smarter, bringing more expertise and strategy in-house, and move faster by breaking down silos and deepening collaboration across our team and with our key partners.

    Our new organization will be focused on five core pillars, each with a direct impact on business strategy: Brand Creative and Marketing; Title Creative and Marketing; Marketing Strategy, Planning, Analysis and Performance Media; Growth and Lifecycle Marketing; and Publicity, Events and Talent Engagement. We heard from many of you as well as our partners that our structure was complex, and are confident that this streamlined approach will help us simplify our processes, accelerate decision making and expose us to a deeper array of marketing skillsets to learn and grow in our careers.

    Here is an overview of our new structure and the five business areas reporting into me:

    · Brand Creative and Marketing: This new pillar will be responsible for brand positioning, strategy, and design identity, led by the EVP of Brand Creative and Marketing, a new leadership role for which we are hiring.

    · Title Creative and Marketing: This new team will oversee planning and execution for our Peacock scripted, unscripted and film single-title campaigns and will be led by the SVP of Title Creative and Marketing, a new leadership role for which we’re hiring.

    · Marketing Strategy, Planning, Analysis and Performance Media: Nic Julichwill continue to lead this team with a broader scope, focusing on data-informed decisions and testing across the marketing organization, as well as performance media.

    · Growth and Lifecycle Marketing: Anna Frost will continue to lead this expanded team, which will serve as the main hub for our ongoing marketing efforts focused on subscriber acquisition, engagement and retention.

    · Publicity, Events and Talent Engagement: This team will continue to be led by Shannon Buck, and encompasses series and film publicity, events and talent engagement, all of which remain key drivers of our overall brand and business.

    As you may have heard, we have some colleagues leaving the company as a result of this restructure and we have held discussions with these team members today. Additionally, we will also be hiring for key new roles, including at senior levels, to support the newly aligned team.

    As we move through this transition, we will continue to share as much as we can about what is changing, how it impacts you and the opportunities we have ahead. Please join me for a virtual Marketing all hands tomorrow at 9:30am PT/12:30pm ET (invite to follow) where I will go through our new structure in more detail. Thank you for joining us and for being part of the next chapter of our Peacock growth story.
     
  4. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Contributing Member

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    That's better but I need you to go really over the top with corporate buzzwords...

    <I understand...>

     
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  5. Surfguy

    Surfguy Contributing Member

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    All I know is one day I see “Office Space” and the main character’s boss asking about completing work on TPS reports. Not long after, I”m suddenly working on TPS reports ! I **** you not!

    [​IMG]
     
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  6. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Contributing Member

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    As I was reading this, I barely finished the 1st paragraph and thought to myself, "Yep....I'm fired."
     
  7. Pistol Pete

    Pistol Pete Contributing Member
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    Special Project roles

    1. Park someone currently in the company in a special project role until they find a new job at another company.
    2. Park someone NOT currently in the company in a special project role until the company gets rid of the person holding a job that the company wants the new person in.

    Emails that say employee is leaving to pursue new opportunities actually means we fired their ass.
     
  8. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Contributing Member

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    @4:30 for some interesting codes.
     
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  9. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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  10. RocketBlood

    RocketBlood Contributing Member

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    Core Values. It’s good for everyday life.


    We walk out the meeting and PM says we got another project and bout to bend the customer over with no lube.
     
  11. lpbman

    lpbman Member

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    Many moons ago, before they began accepting credit cards, I was a master grill op. The thing to watch for when you eat there is the cook will touch raw meat constantly in the process of cooking, but won't go wash their hands before dropping and marking. If the waitresses don't know how to call an order, it is damn near impossible to keep up with washing your hands, marking plates, and pulling raw meat from the fridge. When did they get oatmeal?!

    They also did payroll in cash. I bet they still do.
     
  12. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Contributing Member

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    This is way too complicated. Couldn't they just bang a trash can once for grits, twice for hash browns, etc.?
     
  13. CrazyJoeDavola

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    "Drop one steamed"

    *snort*
     
  14. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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  15. Sajan

    Sajan Member

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    Every speaks like this because everyone has a MBA now. trying to outspeak each other in business jargon while saying absolutely nothing.

    It's like a corporate version of the instagram thot behavior.
     
  16. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    If you drill down on this there are a lot of useful artifacts to add data points to.
     
  17. Sajan

    Sajan Member

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    yes i will mobilize my thoughts so i am putting the appropriate stakes in the ground before i reach a fork in the road
     
  18. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    It's ok to fail as long as you fail fast and learn lessons, make sure you document and make sure to knowledge transfer.
     
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  19. Buck Turgidson

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    Always remember: when you reach a fork in the road, you should take it
     
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  20. adoo

    adoo Member

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    yes, that's how you get to Yogi Berra's house in Montclair,, NJ
     
    Sajan and desihooper like this.

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