Best. Resignation. Ever.

NewRoxFan · Apr 26, 2016

Come on, admit it, you would think of this, wouldn't you?

Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery
DAVE WEASEL

NEW YORK – A 41-year-old woman had the winning lottery ticket worth over 3 million dollars on Friday night, but showed up to work anyway on Monday to deliver one last package.

The courier company had no idea of her winnings. “I knew something was wrong because I came back from lunch and the door to my office was closed,” said the manager. I slowly opened the door to discover the woman with her pants around her ankles, hunched over on my desk like a hippopotamus/cheetah dropping a massive poo on my desk. She shot her head towards me and locked eyes. I was frozen in shock and fear. In my peripheral vision I saw a huge mud-monkey sliming out of her butt like a Play-Doh fun factory.”

“It was worth it,” the woman said on arrest. “On Friday when I realized I hit the lotto, I knew this would be the first thing I would do. I hit up every Mexican food truck and saved my dumps all weekend. I was shuffling around like a death-row inmate trying not to explode. I’ve been putting up with that guy’s **** for years, it’s time he put up with some of mine.”
Click to expand...

https://thevalleyreport.com/2016/04/25/woman-arrested-for-defecating-on-boss-desk-after-winning-the-lottery/

Amel · Apr 26, 2016

NewRoxFan said: ↑

Come on, admit it, you would think of this, wouldn't you?

https://thevalleyreport.com/2016/04/25/woman-arrested-for-defecating-on-boss-desk-after-winning-the-lottery/
Click to expand...

You know that fake right?

Junkyard_Dog · Apr 26, 2016

The way this is worded...

It has to be fake right?

Still gave me a chuckle tho

RedRedemption · Apr 26, 2016

Some of these stories may be exaggerated, embellished or an outright work of fiction. Use proper judgment when reading anything on the internet. Share anywhere you want, but do not repost content without permission.
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https://thevalleyreport.com/disclaimer/

Haymitch · Apr 26, 2016

If this was real hotballa would have already posted it

NewRoxFan · Apr 26, 2016

You had to spoil my fun... still, we all would think of doing it, at least....

Surfguy · Apr 26, 2016

Being caught in the act makes the whole thing. That is one gross b****.

cheke64 · Apr 26, 2016

Plot twist: boss is now suing and wants all the lottery money.

Mr. Clutch · Apr 26, 2016

What did she wipe with?

kevC · Apr 26, 2016

Fakest. Story. Ever.

across110thstreet · Apr 26, 2016

OP, you believed this?

fadeaway · Apr 26, 2016

Best part of this story is the hippopotamus/cheetah line.

hotballa · Apr 26, 2016

Haymitch said: ↑

If this was real hotballa would have already posted it
Click to expand...

My jealousy grew as I read the story, but then dissipated once I saw the link

Nick_713 · Apr 26, 2016

Fake thread is fake...

R0ckets03 · Apr 26, 2016

Sounds like an intelligent person that won't be broke in a few years of winning the lotto.

tehG l i d e · Apr 26, 2016

I wish this was real

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Best. Resignation. Ever.

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