Anyone listen to the Adam Carolla podcast? Has a segment every once in a while where they read headlines or short news excerpts and ask is it Florida or Germany? It’s pretty funny and more difficult than you would think.
Mug shot for Christopher Monnin, 35, (Brevard County Sheriff's Office) Florida cops arrest man who said he stole pool floats to use for sex https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-cops-arrest-man-stole-pool-floats-personal-sexual-pleasure A Florida man arrested in the theft of stolen pool floats told cops he used the inflatables for sex instead of raping women, court papers show. Christopher Monnin, 35, was charged Thursday with breaking into the backyards of homes with pools in Palm Bay and stealing only flotation devices, according to the arrest affidavit. “Defendant stated that he sexually gratifies himself with the pool floats instead of raping women,” the affidavit said. Monnin was on a bike when cops stopped him at 1:25 a.m. Thursday as a suspicious person. They found him in possession of a garbage bag full of deflated pool floats, the affidavit said. Palm Bay has been plagued with the theft of pool floats in more than a dozen reported burglaries in the past seven months, according to the affidavit. In some cases the thief cut a screen door to gain access to the pool area. The affidavit stated that police found approximately 75 pool floats in a vacant house where Monnin admitted to stashing them. He was arrested on charges of burglary, criminal mischief and petit theft and booked into the Brevard County Jail on a $15,000 bond. The Sebastian Daily reported that in one of the burglaries Monnin was accused of stealing a bacon-shaped pool float. ....... ....... .......
75 of them huh. Couldn’t get by with one? I guess for every hot pool float there’s some dude that’s tired of ****ing it.
Looked it up. The story is set in Maine, but sho' 'nuff...first American outbreak was in the fictional town of Thumper, Florida! First reported outbreak was in the fictional town of Fiddle Dee, Australia. Also, I totally forgot about this passage: "When you saw a decaying man still dressed in the mud-streaked remnants of the Brooks Brothers suit in which he had been buried tearing at the throat of a screaming woman in a tee-shirt that read PROPERTY OF THE HOUSTON OILERS, you suddenly realized it might be a very big deal indeed." "Nightmares and Dreamscapes" just might King's finest collection of short stories.
Lehigh Acres man clears canal with car, breaks his back Witnesses said it was like something out of the 1980's television series "Dukes of Hazard." https://www.nbc-2.com/clip/14848287/lehigh-acres-man-clears-canal-with-car-breaks-his-back
I get that he was in the wrong for getting mad and throwing sauce pockets at her(lulz) but from that, it seemed like he restrained himself from actually hitting the woman, hows he getting a felony battery charge for that?
Florida man tied up wife's lover, cut off penis with scissors, deputies say BELL, Florida -- Authorities say a Florida man held his wife's lover at gunpoint and cut off the man's penis before fleeing with the flailing appendage. News outlets report 49-year-old Alex Bonilla was arrested hours later on charges including aggravated assault. The Gilchrist County Sheriff's Office released a statement Tuesday that said Bonilla broke into his neighbor's home Sunday, tied the neighbor up and mutilated his genitals with scissors. Deputies say the victim told authorities that Bonilla then took the severed penis and fled across the street to his own house. Deputies say the motive still is under investigation, though an arrest report says Bonilla caught his wife and the victim having sex in May. The victim was hospitalized.
