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[ESPN] Battier and Rockets get props from Simmons (again!)

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by Patience, Mar 8, 2007.

  1. Patience

    Patience Contributing Member

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    Bill Simmons is a huge Battier fan. Its nice to see the Rockets get some respect from such a popular writer.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/070307&sportCat=nba

    For instance, during my junior year of college, our friend Blueboy went abroad for a semester, and our group imploded like the last 30 minutes of a Behind the Music special. Blueboy was the guy who kept everyone loose. He farted on people's heads when they were passed out, walked into crowded rooms with no pants on, gave everyone a running update on the status of his hemorrhoids -- that kind of juvenile stuff. But it turns out we couldn't survive without his insanity. Looking back, he was our Shane Battier, the guy who transcended stats. Blueboy was our glue guy, the one who made everything go. Once he returned to campus, we were fine again.
    ...

    In the irony of ironies, the Clips nearly dealt Maggette for Battier before Houston trumped their offer last June. Now the Rockets have evolved into the anti-Clippers, a team with clearly defined roles, two good-natured superstars flanked by hardworking sidekicks and a savvy coach who emphasizes defense and smart possessions. Headed for 50-plus wins and a top-five seed in the West, the Rockets survived the loss of T-Mac for nine games and Yao for 29 (and counting). That's what you get when you build chemistry, not a real-life fantasy team.
     
  2. Will

    Will Clutch Crew
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    Man. Dude might as well be wearing a blue dress.
     
  3. sjackson0

    sjackson0 Contributing Member

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  4. rayrocket

    rayrocket Member

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    That's what you get when you build chemistry, not a real-life fantasy team.
     
  5. fredthered

    fredthered Member

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    what?
     
  6. Hmm

    Hmm Member

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    His favorite color is blue.. and he likes transvestites..
     
  7. wolfsheep

    wolfsheep Contributing Member

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    Was Shane that wild person? Or he still is?
     
  8. heypartner

    heypartner Contributing Member

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    and beret
     
  9. Hmm

    Hmm Member

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    The guy farting on people's passed out heads would be Mike Sweetney.
     
  10. Patience

    Patience Contributing Member

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  11. Patience

    Patience Contributing Member

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    Afew highlights:

    "7:41 -- ... I'd tell you more, but I'm too delighted to see that Jeff Van Gundy finally shaved those five scraggly hairs on his bald spot and went with the Ed Harris look. Do you think it was a personal decision, or did his wife talk him into it? Let's give Mrs. Van Gundy a Tommy Point just to be safe"

    "8:02 -- Jefferson swishes a turnaround over Dikembe Mutombo, who's almost as old as Willie Naulls and somehow slaps up these crazy 22-rebound games every once in a while. If he were a baseball player having a similar resurgence, we'd assume steroids or HGH were involved and make jokes about him constantly. With Dikembe? It's being treated like a statistical miracle. Seriously, did you ever think you'd see someone snatch Mutombo off your fantasy waiver wire again in this lifetime? What were the odds on that: 100,000-to-1?"

    "8:06 -- Just a beautiful, driving bank shot by T-Mac in traffic to end the first quarter (Rockets 30, Celtics 22). Nobody makes it look easier than T-Mac. He's the Carlos Beltran of the NBA. "

    "8:14 -- You know, it's strangely fun to watch Juwan Howard (an aging, undersized power forward) defend Ryan Gomes (an up-and-coming, undersized power forward). During breaks in the game, I wonder if he'll sidle over to Gomes and tell him, "Just keep playing hard, somebody is going to wildly overpay you in a few years, just be patient ..."

    "8:29 -- Hey, you know who's one of the most underrated guys in the league? Chuck Hayes, that's who. Bangs the boards, solid defender, makes 3-4 hustle plays a game, doesn't do anything he can't do and his name makes him sound like the star of an ABC legal drama. Just a lot to like."
     
  12. Blake

    Blake Contributing Member

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    8:14 -- You know, it's strangely fun to watch Juwan Howard (an aging, undersized power forward) defend Ryan Gomes (an up-and-coming, undersized power forward). During breaks in the game, I wonder if he'll sidle over to Gomes and tell him, "Just keep playing hard, somebody is going to wildly overpay you in a few years, just be patient ..."


    LOL
     
  13. lastopsuburb

    lastopsuburb Member

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    That was funny and good :)
     
  14. Riz

    Riz Contributing Member

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    Blueboy this...blueboy that... ;)
     

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