The Mansion Gentleman's Club

I would like to audition as a dancer. What time should I be there?

Spoiler

 

Man I am jealous of every single one of you bastards in houston that could go there tonight, and be a fly on the wall for this 'interview' process. I can see the application now for El Hitman's klub:

"
EMPLOYEE APPLICATION
Thank you for applying to 'The Mansion' Please fill out the application, and be sure to answer as honestly, or lie as much as you can, remember this is about boats and hoes so it's all good. Some questions are short essay, and some are mutiple choice.


Questions:
1) How many C section scars or bullet wounds do you have?

2) Do you own stock in any of the following companies?
A) Carmex
B) Valtrex
C) Blue Star Ointment
D) Captain D's


3)How do you feel about cigarette burns? Are you okay with that? We mean can the manager burn you right now? Yes or No?

4) How did you enter the USA?

A)swam
B) hollowed tire
C) fresh off the boat (duh of course!)
D) Vaginally
E) coyote style (cuz thatz how I roll)

5) When was the last time you saw your father? and do you have any daddy issues?

6)Have you ever been on a seafaring vessel ?

7) Do you like seafood?

8) Do you have a gag reflex?

9) There is a garden hose and with a golf ball on the other side that has been placed in front of you for this portion of the interview. Please suck said ball through garden hose. You will be graded on style points as well as tenacity.

10) Does the letter "I" or the number "9" mean anything to you?

11) Are you available nights AND from 3AM -7AM for potential on site visits to managers home office (bedroom)?

12) If you are fat that's okay, we are looking for some good captains to drive EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER

13) "Boats and Hoe's"
Please respond with your first thoughts, and words that come to mind. Must be at least 2 sentences
THANK YOU

 

Dude, even with this application, they will not be able fill it out...all they know is to suck a dick. If that was an application, they all will excel.

 

Nothing else required.

 

come on Lady Di we know you are applying ,but don't think you are getting any special clutchfans exception. We will need you to fill out the application.

If El Hitman can get video of you doing the garden hose demo #9, I will donate to the tip jar, and your tip jar. and give rep points to that that may be witness

Thank you in advance

 

Ooooooh look at Mrs. High and Mighty I can do more things than just chupa la verga lady.

 

Swoly-D, what's with the Marilyn Monroe reference?

Nah IBTL, I have something better.

Spoiler

 

Damn girl you such a turn on!!!... Why dont you allow me to pick you up something to eat from this place you speaking of?...Maybe we'll stop and have dinner afterwards??

 

Clutchfans faints...

 

Hmmm....

Spoiler

 

That is soo sexy. Ahhh rooooo gaaa!! *pant *pant *pant * faint

 

repped...this thread is too good.

 

Daaaaaaaaaamn.

Lady Di coming with the Fire.

Nice.

 

And regular professional women don't??:grin:

 

Dude, she's been bringing the fire everytime she's popped into this thread.
Lady Di knows she's bad and when she talks naughty it *** with the mind of dudes like me on here.

 

I want pictures of Lady Di now.

 

Isn't lady Di the fat black chick?